What happened to Sheree Spencer? The real story behind my wife, my abuser and where she is now.

Channel 5 Documentary My wife, my abusernow available on Netflixreveals the harrowing story of Richard Spencer’s abuse at the hands of his wife, Sheree Spencer. For more than two decades, Richard suffered physical and emotional abuse in silence, a torment that went unnoticed by the outside world until it was brought to light.

Living in an affluent East Yorkshire suburb with their three daughters, the couple presented the image of a perfect family. However, behind closed doors, Sheree inflicted horrible abuse on Richard. Footage from nanny cameras, initially installed to monitor her children, eventually captured the true extent of Sheree’s violent behavior, leading to her sentencing in March 2023 to four years in prison. The documentary features Richard’s personal accounts, nanny camera footage, audio clips and photographic evidence, providing an insight into the nightmare he endured.

Who is Sheree Spencer? Sheree held a senior position within HM Prison and Probation Service while carrying out her abusive behavior against her husband. Her abuse included physical attacks such as spitting, punching and kicking Richard, leaving him with visible injuries which she often covered up with make-up to avoid the suspicion of others. Sheree’s attacks even escalated to threatening Richard with a knife and hitting him with a wine bottle, causing her ear to be permanently disfigured.

What happened to Sheree Spencer? Sheree’s abusive campaign against Richard spanned two decades, but her cruelty was not limited to physical violence. She also exercised financial control, forcing Richard to take out loans for family expenses while refusing to contribute financially. Sheree threatened to invent charges against him if he tried to disclose the abuse, creating an atmosphere of fear and control.

In court, Sheree pleaded guilty to coercive control and three counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm. The offenses she admitted took place between 2016 and 2021. Judge Kate Rayfield, who presided over the case, called it “the worst case of controlling and coercive behavior I have seen”.

PC Adele Jenkinson from Humberside Police praised Richard’s bravery, saying: “I would like to take this opportunity to recognize Mr Spencer’s strength, courage and patience throughout the criminal investigation and I hope that this custodial sentence will give him, friends and family closure so they can move on and look to a happier future.”

After Sheree’s sentencing, Richard bravely shared his experience, saying: “I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never fully recover from her abuse and that it will have a permanent detrimental impact on my life and my family’s. Sheree’s abuse of me evolved. and escalated over time, she used repeated acts of physical aggression, threats, verbal abuse and humiliation to punish and exercise control over me.”

Richard Spencer

How was Sheree Spencer caught? The breaking point came when Sheree contacted one of Richard’s friends, claiming he was intoxicated and feared for her safety. When the friend arrived, Richard confided in him, revealing the abuse and showing him video evidence captured by the nurse’s cameras. The friend reported the abuse to the police on Richard’s behalf.

Richard explained that the nanny rooms were installed after their first child was born, saying: “We had two – one in the playroom and one in the bedroom. They were there for reassurance, to keep an eye on a big house.” These recordings, along with the audio clips and photos he had collected over time, served as crucial evidence in his case against Sheree.

A hidden life and fear Richard detailed how he lived in constant fear and shame, covering his bruises with make-up before taking his children to school to avoid suspicion. Reflecting on the manipulation he endured, he said: “Sheree unapologetically proclaimed that I deserved to be punished and that it was a justifiable consequence of me letting her down in some way.”

In her attempts to justify her actions during police interviews, Sheree presented herself as the victim, claiming that Richard “threatened to kill her”. However, overwhelming evidence contradicted her claims, leading to her conviction and sentence.

Here are the top five worst things Sheree Spencer did to Richard Spencer as documented My wife, my abuser:

1. Physical assaults with permanent injuries: Sheree subjected Richard to severe physical abuse, including spitting, punching, and even attacking him with objects. In one particularly brutal incident, she hit him with a wine bottle, leaving him with permanent injuries to his ear and elbow.
2. Defecating on the floor to humiliate him: Sheree defecated on the floor of their house to humiliate Richard, adding a deeply degrading and shocking element to the abuse she inflicted on him.
3. Threatening with a knife: In another chilling episode, Sheree held a knife to Richard’s throat, using this act of intimidation to assert control and instill fear.
4. Financial control and manipulation: Sheree forced Richard to take out loans to cover family expenses and vacations while refusing to contribute financially herself. This financial abuse increased her stress and limited her means of escaping the relationship.
5. Psychological manipulation and false threats: Sheree would threaten to make false claims against Richard to the police, saying she would charge him with abuse if he ever tried to report her. This manipulation made Richard feel trapped and forced him to hide his suffering from friends and family.

These actions, along with her coercive control and manipulation, contributed to a two-decade campaign of abuse that ultimately led to Sheree Spencer’s conviction and four-year prison sentence.

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The following Richard’s story is a rare and stark reminder of male victims of domestic abuse, an issue often overshadowed by cases involving female victims. In a statement after her sentencing, Humberside Police hoped the case would encourage all victims, regardless of gender, to come forward, saying: “Sheree Spencer is an abusive and violent woman who subjected her husband to years of abuse.. .I hope this result proves it. to anyone affected by abuse and domestic violence that, no matter who you are, we will listen, support and take positive action to get justice.”

Spencer’s story sheds light on the complexity of the dynamics of abuse and the resilience required to escape them. Richard, who is now speaking out, hopes his experience will inspire other victims of domestic abuse to seek help, and his brave revelation marks an important step in raising awareness of male victims suffering in silence.