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My relationship with food has never been healthy. I have struggled with my weight my whole life, but my recent weight loss journey began after my second son was born in 2018.

I was busy major depressive disorder and postpartum depression since she was born. In 2019, about a year later, I sought help. Over the course of two years, I was prescribed a variety of different depression medications such as Zoloft, Celexa, and Cymbalta until I settled on Cymbalta, which worked well for me. Many of the antidepressants I have been prescribed have potential side effect of weight gain.

At the end of 2021, I got on the scale and I was the same weight I was when I was nine months pregnant with my little one – and it didn’t feel right. At the time, I attributed my weight gain to antidepressants, but I continued to see weight gain. So in November 2021, we started Weight Watchers.

Over the course of eighteen months, I devoted all my time and energy to participating in the WW program and lost 65 pounds. I connected with other WW members online and shared recipes and nutrition information on my Instagram and TikTok accounts. Everything was fine until something happened in my personal life which then caused me to go back to my old habits of emotional eating and excessive eating. Binge eating is a condition that involves eating a large amount of food in a short period of time while feeling out of control, usually once a week, according to National Institutes of Health (NIH).

My mental and physical health are so closely linked that if one succeeds, the other succeeds – and if one fails, the other fails.

Between February and December 2023, I wrestled with my brain every day.

I was going through an emotional time in my personal life and eating was my coping mechanism. I was obsessed with food. If I had a WW plan, I would think about all the things I wanted to eat. If I didn’t have a diet plan, I would feel guilty. I previously lost 65 pounds on WW, so why couldn’t I do the same now?

I was constantly thinking about food. But I’ve learned that I’m not the only one who experiences these thoughts. “Food noise” is a colloquial term for constant, persistent thoughts about food and eating that are hard to suppress, according to a 2023 narrative review in the journal. Nutrients. It can also feel like your life constantly revolves around food, according to the review. This is exactly what happened to me.

When I lost weight on WW, I dedicated all my time to the program and was successful. When life got tough, the noise of food returned.

At the end of 2023, I had gained 37 pounds.

So my doctor and I decided to give it a try Zepbound (tirzepatide), an injection for weight loss and weight management, in addition to WeightWatchers.

I have previously done some research on how diet pills like Zepbound can help “quiet” food noise. This caught my eye and sparked my initial interest in taking it. And while my mental health wasn’t the main reason I started Zepbound, mine improved so drastically over the course of it that after talking to my psychiatrist, I was finally able to taper off my anti-depressant .

At the time, WW had also launched Weight Watchers Clinican online program that connects you with doctors and care coordinators to help you customize your weight loss plan and prescribe weight loss medications. I chose to try WeightWatchers Clinic because I was already satisfied and comfortable with the WeightWatchers experience, so it made the most sense to explore this option through them.

I got my prescription for Zepbound through WeightWatchers Clinic and started with the 2.5mg loading dose of Zepbound. I stayed on that dose for about a month to make sure my body didn’t have any negative side effects like nausea or vomiting. While on the medication for the first month, I communicated with my WW care coordinator and clinician via chat to record any concerns or side effects. Once I knew I had no negative side effects from Zepbound, my doctor increased my dose to 5mg for about a month and then up to 7.5mg.

At first, as my body acclimated to the drug, I had mild constipation that cleared up after a few weeks. But overall I was lucky and had very minimal side effects. On the days I was getting the shot, I noticed that I wasn’t as interested in eating. (But I still ate, because it’s not healthy to starve yourself!).

At that time, my diet also changed. WeightWatchers introduced their The GLP-1 programwhich connects you with a clinician to decide on the best medical weight loss options, including GLP-1 drugs. Instead of tracking points (the traditional WW program uses a point system to help you track your food and encourage healthy choices), the GLP-1 plan had me aiming for certain target amounts of protein, water, fruits, and vegetables for that day. A big part of being on Zepbound was making sure I was getting enough protein because you are predisposed to lose muscle mass when taking GLP-1 drugs and eating protein ​​can help. The tracker helped me understand how much protein I had in my diet and whether or not I was on track towards my long-term weight loss goals.

I lost 22 pounds on Zepbound from mid-December to the end of March.

The mental health changes I experienced during my weight loss journey meant so much more to me than the weight loss. For me, the weight loss was simply an added bonus.

Zepbound has done more noticeable things for my mental health than any SSRI I’ve ever taken. (GLP-1 including Zepbound were studied to reduce the risk of depression and anxiety.) For the first time in my life, my brain was quiet. I didn’t realize how much mental space was being taken up by the sound of food until it was gone.

“GLP-1 drugs affect all the neurotransmitters in the brain associated with mental health – norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine,” says Sue DecotiisMD, a weight loss doctor based in New York City. “When they are low, they cause depression and anxiety. GLP-1 increases the production and action of these neurotransmitters.” That said, none of these drugs are FDA-approved for mental health, she says.

In addition to the mental health changes, I realized that the food cravings I had previously struggled with dissipated. I could eat a slice of cake, be satisfied, and move on with my day. I could have dessert left on the counter and not dwell on it. I was able to take on a lot more with the space my brain now had – I even started different puzzles and projects that I previously didn’t have the energy for. It was so incredibly freeing.

But in 2024, after four months on Zepbound, I was forced to stop taking it.

The main reason I decided to leave Zepbound was the cost. I was paying $550 a month out of pocket with a savings card and my insurance refused to cover it. I thought that if I talked to my insurance company and went through the proper channels, I would be able to get coverage eventually. I begged them, explaining that this drug was good for my mental health, but they wouldn’t budge. The rule for my insurance company was that these drugs would only be covered for patients who are diabetic – and because I didn’t have a BMI over 30 and diabetes, I didn’t qualify.

Because insurance would not cover the medication, I had to pay for the medication out of pocket. My cost for Zepbound is $1,100 a month, and even with a savings card from the drug company, it’s only gone down to $550 a month. At first, I decided I was just going to keep trying to stay on it, dammit.

Unfortunately, the cost was not feasible for me to maintain long term. Six thousand dollars or more a year is a lot. I kept thinking about what I could use this money for, like my kids, vacations, and bills. I couldn’t go into debt.

Another major problem at the time was the drug shortage. It was hard for me to get the doses I needed and going to the pharmacy to figure things out made me anxious. (My doctor would send the prescription, but I was lucky if I could actually get it.)

Because of the high cost, I stopped taking the medicine cold turkey.

I had no adverse physical side effects after stopping, but the food noise returned immediately.

When I exited Zepbound in March 2024, I did so with a plan in mind. I learned through the WeightWatchers Clinic that some oral medications such as Contrary (a combination of Bupropion and Naltrexone), can help with certain aspects of addictive behaviors and cravings. When the food noise came back, I realized I had nothing to lose by trying Contrave. It was easily accessible, covered by my insurance, and relatively inexpensive. I also met with a dietician to discuss where I am, where I want to go, and how I might get there. I decided that going back to the WeightWatchers behavioral plan was the best way for me. It was something I was comfortable with and already had success with in 2021-2023.

Since then, I’ve been on Contrave and using the WeightWatchers points plan to track. I lost more weight – a total of 55 pounds. Now, I have to be very careful about what I eat and make sure I watch what I consume. And while I think Contrave helps with some of my cravings, it’s nowhere near as helpful as Zepbound.

I also have a food journal in the notes app on my phone. This forces me to stop and think about what I feel and why I feel it.

Unfortunately, it was not my choice to leave Zepbound. I was completely free of a drug that literally changed my life. Sometimes I get frustrated knowing how hard I have to work to stay on a WW eating plan and control my overeating knowing that Zepbound has made it so much easier for me to coexist with food.

There is so much stigma around diet pills that when I decided to take Zepbound I was nervous to tell family, friends and even the WW community because I was afraid of being judged. When someone is depressed, you can tell them to go to the doctor or take medicine. Why is this different?

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