When a relationship fizzles, you know it. The intense chemistry you once had with your partner has changed, and you spend more time not talking than talking. It’s not bad, but it’s definitely not good either.

Have you ever stayed in a relationship just for stuff? Staying for things is a common choice, and the above examples are true stories of what people choose to stay in relationships. Are you in a stay or go situation? Would you like to know what to do next and what kind of effects divorce might have on you?

Here are 5 tough questions that will change the trajectory of your divorce:

1. Do you still have any chemistry?

If the chemistry is gone, how do you feel about it? Do you miss being intimate? According to a 2018 study15% of marriages, unfortunately deprived of true intimacy.

Believe it or not, some people don’t miss intimacy. You may find it hard to believe, but all kinds of compromises work in today’s marriages.

If the chemistry is dead, are there other valuable assets in the relationship? Is your partner open to exploring your satisfaction elsewhere? Can you talk about it?

Lack of chemistry and intimacy does not automatically disqualify your man. There are also things you can do to rekindle the passion in a relationship that feels dead.

RELATED: Why you should get divorced at least once

2. Are you a companion?

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If you and your man they have many interests in common and enjoy doing things together, that has tremendous value. Having a partner who enjoys spending time with you may not be the same as having heavy intimacy every night, but for many people it’s enough.

According to data from the Pew Research Center64% of married Americans believe that having common interests is very important to a successful marriage.

Look for signs of friendship with your current partner. List the things you like to do together. If some of your interests are dormant, then awaken them!

See if you still enjoy his company while doing things you did at the beginning of your relationship. If you don’t enjoy being together, then it could be a sign that things aren’t getting better in your relationship and you may need to address it.

RELATED: 6 tiny signs your marriage is on the rocks

3. Are you at home in your house?

If Do you feel comfortable in your surroundings and you are free to express yourself at home with music, art and food, you have something very valuable. Some tell me they get bored because there aren’t enough fireworks or excitement. Being comfortable in a relationship can even be healthy for you, with 2017 research finding that people in secure relationships have a lower risk of heart disease.

I get that, but you can always take skydiving lessons or take an improv class if you want to get your adrenaline going.

Be very careful what you define as boring. Living peacefully with another person can be extremely fulfilling when you free them from the responsibility of providing the juice that makes your heart beat. Being at peace with your partner can really bring passion into your life.

4. Do you have a passion?

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Serious. what is your passion outside of romance? Do you have a charity you support? Having a passion, research from Harvard University confirmsit can help boost motivation, improve focus and improve life.

My husband volunteers with the cats at the shelter, socializing the kittens and preparing them for adoption. Many others find much pleasure and love in animals because they are often much easier to love than people!

You need passion. Before leaving the relationship, work on finding a passion outside of your current interests. Pour yourself into something that feeds your soul.

What hobby did you enjoy 20 years ago? Why did you quit? Chances are your partner is feeling the stress of needing him to be your everything.

RELATED: 9 ways to navigate divorce in a way that causes the least damage

5. How much do you have to lose?

This is a serious subject and sometimes the loss of things is considerable. When I got divorced, I had a friend who said, “I could never do what you do. I would lose too much.”

Sometimes the things of life hold you longer than they should be there. No one can tell you how happy you are or how happy you should be.

All I can tell you is that when you’re approaching 50, you need to be extremely careful before moving on. If you live comfortably, have companionship, and have a pretty good communication system, there’s only one thing you need to know in order to stay… at least for now. 2018 research confirms that people can lose a lot in divorce, such as wealth, a shared social network, and even residential ties.

If you and your partner are thinking about breaking up, it is a serious matter for both of you. The one ingredient I think you need to have to make it work is collaboration.

Webster defines collaboration as “the act of working with another on a common project.” Without collaboration there is little chance of your relationship lasting.

You have a common project, whether you like it or not. The joint project is your coupling, as you define it. Review the five keys and make an appointment with yourself to seriously consider your current situation. If you still want to make something work with your partner, recommit to communicating that to them.

If you need to, talk to a coach, mentor, pastor, or good friend. Make a plan for how to impress upon your partner that making a collaborative effort to spark your relationship is your number one priority, and then act on that plan.

RELATED: The easy way to decide if you should get a divorce or not

Catherine Behan is a highly educated dating coach, freelance writer and editor. She currently works as a Law of Attraction and Success Coach, where she leverages her expertise in EFT to help people attract abundance into their lives.