Evidence shows that such informal caregivers carry a heavy burden of stress, including conflict with family, financial worries, lack of personal time, and a constant sense of uncertainty. “The emotional, psychological weight and responsibility of this is never ending. You never take that (care) hat off,” says Sarah Iselin, president and CEO of Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts. Earlier this year, Iselin herself spent a week working remotely from Florida so she could care for her father, who suffers from Alzheimer’s, and her mother, who was recovering from heart surgery.

For women in a caregiving role—and more than half of the informal carers of the elderly are women, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics—the need can also disrupt a still-growing career. “When women reach 50, they are actually still on the upward slope of their lifetime earnings trajectories. Men are on a downward slope,” says Nicole Maestas, an economist and professor of health care policy at Harvard Medical School. Her research suggests that taking on a caregiving role delays career progression, but doesn’t always derail it—on average, she finds, women can restore their earnings after caregiving ends. “Women are coming back,” says Maestas.

However, navigating the complex challenges and rocky emotional terrain that come with caregiving while maintaining career progression can be formidable. Experts and those immersed in caregiving say there are ways to get through it and come out stronger — both personally and professionally — on the other side.

1. Own the identity

Informal carers might describe themselves as just ‘a decent man’ or even ‘a good daughter’, but they often avoid the label of ‘carer’, says Alexandra Drane, co-founder and CEO of Archangelsa platform aimed at connecting caregivers to resources for support. But accepting the descriptor is an important mindset shift that encourages you to seek out resources. “If you don’t know you’re in the role,” says Drane, “you can’t get the support to be in the role.”

2. Plan ahead

At different times, Lisa Murray, president of Citizens Bank of Massachusetts, helped care for her grandmother, her father and her husband. Today, her mother lives with her – she is healthy, but Murray and her sister plan for her eventual needs. “My sister and I sat down with my mom and asked her what she ultimately wanted,” says Murray. “We plan financially for it, we plan emotionally.”

Thinking ahead is essential. Start a conversation with your parents, spouse, or anyone else you may be responsible for caring for one day. And if they’re resistant, do your own best to identify available resources and options before a crisis, Mariani says. “Emergency planning is terrible planning.”

3. Seek – and accept – help

“There are these resources that exist, but they’re woefully underutilized,” says Drane.

Part of the challenge is finding and understanding the different options. The Archangel website aggregates links to a variety of services and information and Massachusetts Family Caregiver Support Program provides advice and assistance in finding the necessary resources. Drane also recommends researching health insurance plans and employee assistance programs you can already get through work, which often include overlooked services like care coordination, legal advice for estate planning, and counseling sessions. counselling.

In addition, every municipality in Massachusetts is served by an agency for aging services (these are listed on the website of the Executive Office for Aging Affairs), many of which offer support groups and resources for caregivers.

Judy VerPlanck-Elliott, 66, of Methuen, is a full-time caregiver for her husband, who has Alzheimer’s, and regularly speaks with a dementia counselor she found through AgeSpanher local agency. “She’s been really helpful in helping me navigate certain situations — things that are crushing me and I need to talk to someone who won’t judge me,” says VerPlanck-Elliott.

4. Identify and promote your caring skills

When work outside the home is interrupted by caregiving, it can feel like a setback for career advancement. But caregiving nurtures a whole new — and incredibly valuable — skill set, says Murray. “People who are caregivers are better employees: they are multitasking, they are motivated, they are efficient, they work hard.”

Late last month, the Archangels and a group of collaborators launched the Care Badge initiativewhich allows caregivers to earn a badge – a digital logo that can be displayed on a LinkedIn page, email signature or CV – that identifies them as someone who has these skills and experiences. “You don’t have to hide it — be loud and proud,” says Drane. “Redo the act of care.”

5. Speak up

While the difficulties facing working mothers have been part of the national conversation for some time, the challenges of caring for older adults are rarely mentioned. “A lot of people are uncomfortable talking about it at work, feeling like it might impact how people perceive them at work,” says Samantha Brady, a PhD student at Brown University and research specialist at MIT’s AgeLab .

However, talking about these experiences is what can spark more discussion and, ideally, change. Iselin, of Blue Cross, says he heard stories from caregivers that inspired the company to add a new benefit for 2025 to some of its Medicare plans: $600 to be spent on services like light maintenance and technology assistance.

6. Nurture moments of joy

Caregivers will tell you that the process also comes with many happy moments, from the satisfaction of giving back to the people who raised you to the connections shared by spending more time together. “The upsides are immeasurable,” says Murray.

The benefits can even extend to the workplace. Research published this year in Journal of Vocational Behavior finds that caregivers often have to make concessions at work — leaving early or taking on fewer projects — but may also have better attitudes toward their work because the positive emotional impact of caregiving spills over into their work lives.

Brady’s research also found that caregivers who are employed have better mental health than caregivers who do not have outside jobs. “There’s something (about caregiving) that’s close to the core and gives a different sense of purpose in the work,” Brady says.

Finding ways to keep a sense of purpose can be invaluable when caregiving finally ends and you move on to a new phase of life, say those who have been through it.

“Even in the worst of my mother’s dementia, I looked forward to those moments when I got that genuine smile,” says Mariani. “There are wonderful things to come.”

Sarah Shemkus is a frequent contributor to Globe Magazine. Send comments to [email protected].