• I was tired of dating immature men who lived like they were still in a frat.
• I decided to go on a date with a sugar daddy because I wanted to feel appreciated.
• I won $250 on that date and I appreciated his maturity and interest in me.

Editor’s note: Business Insider has verified the author’s identity. She asked that her last name be removed for employment reasons.

I didn’t have the best dating luck as a teenager and young adult. Until I was 30, I had never been long-term engaged relationship with a man. For most of my life, I blamed myself.

I was heavier and very open. I convinced myself that it was a lethal combination that made me undesirable. I was far from delicate, modest females in films that were swept off their feet.

When I was 25, I lost 80 pounds. After that, I found that my dating pool had expanded massively. As I continued to age, my confidence and loud, outgoing demeanor was not a trap, but a force that attracted more men.

So when I moved to Denver Shortly after that, I started putting myself out there in the dating world.

Dating men my age was not what I thought it would be

Dating in Denver it wasn’t going so well. I put a lot of effort into the meeting, from preparation to asking questions and keeping the conversation going.

More often than not, the men I met in their late 20s and early 30s showed up in ripped t-shirts and baseball caps. They spent most of the meal telling me about themselves instead of asking a single question. Their houses looked like house brother: three roommates, clothes scattered on the floor and no bed frames.

i was looking for romanceelegant tables and intentionality. I’ve never been much of a traditionalist, but I was beginning to see the appeal of actually being courted by a man – like I never had before.

I started thinking about dating an older man

I was on a work trip and sneaked off to eat with local friends. The girls I was with started taking pictures of themselves with wine in hand, smiling seductively for their virtual admirers.

I asked them what they were doing and they said they had an older “friend” who owned a hedge fund and sometimes gave them money for photos. Just then, a $50 Venmo hit the girl’s phone. My jaw dropped. During one meal, these girls raised $150 by sending completely average photos to a man who apparently liked the idea of ​​taking care of women.

I am very lucky to make great money. I don’t need a secondary income stream, nor do I need to sell myself out for a man’s pleasure. But I saw no male pleasure at that table. i saw female empowermentand I was more than a little intrigued. The idea that I could use my beauty and strength to get whatever I wanted from men was something I never dreamed I could do.

I went home and immediately explored the internet until I found Sugardaddy.com. On this site, older men and younger women accept relationship terms that suit both parties, usually trading some form of quality time for money.

As I dug, I saw a lot of bad characters. However, I had a few conversations with men who seemed kind and just wanted company.

I chose a suitor and took a bet: I suggested a meeting at the Wolf Tailor, a Michelin star restaurant in Denver with a chef tasting menu. Cost was $185 per person before drinks. He agreed without hesitation even at the cost.

I enjoyed the meeting before it even started

I felt more elegant and feminine by choosing a tight dress with clear, chunky heels that gave me an extra edge when I stepped out of the house.

The restaurant was equally stunning – every detail was elegant and purposeful. He was already waiting for me in a nice suit and tie with his hair slicked back at the table.

Sure, it was in his the end of the 60s and not someone I would normally go to, but I immediately felt respected and appreciated his effort.

We hugged and talked for the next three hours over nine courses of food and specialty cocktails. We talked about a business he started and sold, his previous marriageand my travels. The conversation was deep and engaging.

At the end of the meal, we parted with another hug and a quick Zelle exchange that left me $250 richer.

I left feeling sexy and strong

Sure, earning $250 on top of having one gourmet meal free was nice. But the real prize was spending time with a man who was seemingly sure of himself, put time and effort into his appearance, and perhaps understood the value of the person on the other side of the table.

In the long run, I don’t think so sugar daddy dating it will be something I continue to explore, but that experience showed me what I really wanted from dating. I want to feel feminine, sexy and deeply appreciated.

And I want to wear fancy heels every now and then – with my suitor wearing a suit and tie to match.