Charisma is not something bestowed only on the lucky few at birth. Growing up, I struggled with shyness; anyone would have labeled me “boring” as a teenager. There’s a lot I’ve learned over the years that have helped me develop my charismatic side. It has helped me get invited to podcasts, speak to thousands of people on stage and attract a large readership.

Fortunately, charismatic people have specific characteristics and personality traits that we can all learn from—and emulate if we want to put ourselves out there when we’re dating, finding a promising career, or simply making connections with our neighbors.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a charismatic personality exudes a “special charm or magnetic attraction.” These individuals use nonverbal behaviors such as posture and eye contact to project a charismatic personality.

Here are 16 signs of a person with true charisma:

1. They keep things light

Humor developed as an essential social dynamic in humans and even other animals such as chimpanzees. We need humor to soothe life’s difficulties and deepen bonds. Be easy in the face of challenges and become the architect of a happier and more creative life.

2. They speak their mind – but not recklessly

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Occasionally, you say something that needs to be said that no one else dares to say. Give your honest opinion. Most people are hindered by socially programmed boundaries about what they can and cannot say and thirst for honesty. Being direct will earn you respect. This can give you massive bonus points as it takes courage but must be executed with care and awareness.

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3. They rarely complain

Complaints are for little girls who can’t find the missing parts of their doll. Pointing out when something is wrong is quite another. But complaining—even if it’s only in your mind—will pollute your energy and infect those around you.

According to research published in 2015 in European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychologycomplaining makes you feel worse. “Discussing events immediately during or after they occur forces the brain to relive or ‘replay’ the negative emotional response,” the researchers write. “This creates a stronger association in memory, exaggerating the influence of the emotional episode.”

4. They listen deeply without distraction

Talking less demonstrates comfort in one’s skin if coupled with a relaxed demeanor and adds to your sense of mystery. Talking less and listening more can earn you respect in several ways, including building trustto be a stronger conversationalist, to be open and attentive, to be mysterious, to be in control and to be a good listener, 2016 research confirms.

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5. I don’t jump to conclusions

You can tell when someone is jumping to conclusions and having a hard time thinking. They move and think too fast. They make life harder by rushing. Instead, slow down physically and the mind will decelerate. One of the best ways to slow down your thoughts, according to research from Harvard Universityis to meditate.

6. They embrace their quirks

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To cultivate an open and therefore more creative mind—one capable of cultivating compelling ideas—I work on the rarest quality of all: the ability to observe. Doing so attaches a subtle stigma.

You are “weird” if you notice because most people rarely notice. Follow your freak. There is power in observation. To see the world as it is. This is the truest source of wisdom.

RELATED: 9 Things Really Charming People Avoid Revealing About Themselves

7. Pay attention to their hygiene

Seemingly mundane and “futile” things like clipping your toenails or ironing a wrinkled shirt are not frivolous luxuries; they are mayors. How you take care of yourself strongly influences not only how you feel, but also how you think about yourself. Doubt will constantly bark at the doorstep of someone who dresses like a slob 24/7. How you dress is how people perceive you, Research from 2023 confirms.

8. They really accept themselves (and others)

The connection between someone validating our choices and our sense of well-being seems natural. But as with possessions and happiness, this too is an illusion – and one that keeps us unhappy. No matter what we choose to do, many people, including family members, will not respond well to our choices.

The alternative is to connect with your true self, be willing to break away from the herd, and reap the rewards of taking risks. Acceptance from others is not the goal, but self-acceptance is. Self-acceptance will boost your confidence, Harvard University research confirms this.

9. They are vulnerable

Head turners don’t talk as much as most and don’t reveal everything about themselves. But when they do, it’s sincerity. People who are honest communicators tend to be easily respected, according to research in The Journal of Experimental Psychology.

Maybe you have the courage to share what you’re uncomfortable with, or you’re willing to admit when you’ve made a mistake. This type of communication is refreshing and relieves stress because you’re not walking around trying to be someone you’re not.

10. They go against the grain

Instead of playing with the majority and picking up scraps, go against the grain. Use the information gained from seeing what most people don’t do as a guide. You will rise above most and develop a healthier relationship by turning uncomfortable things into precious things.

RELATED: 12 Signs You’re More Empathetic Than the Average Person, According to Psychology

11. They don’t rush through life

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People are in a hurry and stressed. Most secretly want to be bossed around and have someone show up and make them feel better, less stressed and more judgmental. Be that person. Leaders are people with vision and energy, according to research from Harvard University.

RELATED: 8 Habits Successful Leaders Practice to Build a Lasting Legacy

12. They don’t take every thought at face value

It is so easy to fall into the trap of listening to thoughts that weaken you. Research from the University of Notre Dame states that the mind lies to us much. They are just thoughts. They can be ignored. Refuse to buy them and choose to act on your side leading the soldiers into battle.

13. They are good at releasing tension

Mentally scanning your body can help you understand where you hold tension, how it affects you, and help you release stress. Studies have found that body scan meditation can help relieve stress, improve sleep, improve self-awareness, reduce pain, and promote self-compassion.

14. They don’t live in their heads

Sabotage is much more likely when we are in our heads. We can’t be in our heads if we do one thing at a time. How? Because we are no longer in planning or thinking mode. We are on the move. We are in the flow of doing. In this state, we are gifted with an uplifting perspective.

Research by the American Psychological Association shows that focusing on one thing at a time, also known as “single-tasking”, is significant more productive than trying to multitaskbecause the human brain is not designed to effectively handle multiple tasks simultaneously, leading to decreased efficiency, increased errors, and mental fatigue when switching between tasks

RELATED: 14 ​​Signs A Person Is Really Respected, According To Psychology

15. They are humble

Through Zen Buddhism Shoshin — or “Beginner’s Mind,” the idea is to learn with the eagerness and humility of a beginner, regardless of your level of knowledge.

“If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to anything. In the mind of the beginner, there are many possibilities, but in the mind of the expert, there are few.” – Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind.

Counterintuitively, this is the path to true expertise—and ca Master Yi of League Of Legends said, “A true master is an eternal student.” Of psychology The Dunning Kruger effect supports this. While the competent underestimate themselves, the incompetent are delusional.

16. They really enjoy life

Life is uncertain and often makes it seem like we need to adopt smart strategies to “beat the uncertainty”. We compensate for our “lack of preparation” by adopting mindset tricks like “fake it till you make it,” “focus on the audience,” or “make eye contact to appear more dominant,” or all three. Doing it till you make it, like research from 2022 say, it really works.

Don’t try. Just find a way to relax and enjoy yourself. Everything you need will be there for you through insights from a deeper place. The result is that too often we dedicate ourselves to pushing harder or moving faster in areas of our lives where effort and effort are actually profoundly counterproductive, a professor of Asian Studies and Embodied Cognition at the University of British Columbia and a renowned scholar of Chinese thought found.

RELATED: 11 ways to make someone respect you without saying a single word

Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a personal brand that monetizes your knowledge and skills while maintaining mental toughness.