HOLLIDAYSBURG — Some time ago, Cheryl Gonsman of Family Services Inc. responded to a phone call from a woman who said she was in an abusive relationship and wanted help getting her car back from her husband, who left with her.

Gonsman suggested the woman call the police as he pondered the joint ownership of marital property – only to learn later that despite the woman’s “fixation” to the car, there was a much more serious problem: she had been strangled by her husband. .

At a workshop Friday on brain damage from intimate partner violence, Gonsman and others learned that victims of domestic violence, when interacting with social workers, often do not reveal the full reality of their abuse, and that these workers need to be careful. for signs of what lies beneath the surface—as you ask probing questions to uncover that reality.

If he had to deal with it, Gonsman would have asked questions like, “Are you safe at home?” or “did he hurt you?” she said, following a presentation by Frank Hillary and Elizabeth Rebuck of the Brain Injury and Plasticity Lab in the Department of Psychology at Penn State University Park.

It is often necessary for social service providers to overcome the natural tendency not to ask personal, seemingly prying questions, because in many cases the brain damage that results from abuse – including strangulation, due to the lack of oxygen it causes – makes it difficult the victims. to express what’s on their mind, let alone successfully plan to escape, officials said.

Ironically, the brain damage resulting from the abuse that women must flee from makes it difficult for them to escape by compromising the “executive function” needed to do so safely because of the barriers to escape that perpetrators often erect, such as hiding credit cards, according to Ashley Gay Vocco, program director at Family Services, and presenters.

“Just go” difficult

Compromising those mental functions is why so many women can’t do what many observers encourage them to do — “just walk away,” said Gay Vocco and presenters.

One in three women – and one in four men – are victims of domestic violence at some point in their lives, according to Hillary.

That means social service workers of all types inevitably encounter such victims on a regular basis — including victims who show no obvious signs of abuse, Gay Vocco said.

People generally think of soldiers or football players when they think of brain injuries, according to Gay Vocco.

They don’t often think about ordinary women, she said, noting that their wounds often go “untreated and unnoticed.”

Brain injuries in abused women can occur from blows to the head, impact with hard objects such as a wall or floor, and shaking — and the effects can be cumulative, according to Hillary and Rebuck.

Damage can occur when it is not obvious to either the victim or observers.

Most people social service workers encounter who have traumatic brain injuries from abuse will have symptoms that indicate only mild injuries, based on a common measurement of brain trauma, Hillary said.

But the damage is real and often life-changing, he said.

Signs of victimization underlying that damage include fear of her intimate partner, anxiety about pleasing her partner, defense against her partner’s worrying behavior, loss of contact with friends and family, stop doing things she used to enjoy, her absence. of control over her finances, a requirement that she keep him informed of her whereabouts at all times, him showing up unannounced and her interrupting the conversation when he does, Hillary said.

Signs of a dangerous partner include an urge for quick commitment; excessive jealousy; prohibiting the woman from being in the company of loved ones; not to let her get a job; degrading language; excessive mood swings; pressure to engage in worrisome behaviors, including sex, substance abuse, or illegal activities; intimidation and threats; or threats of self-harm if she left, he said.

Social service workers must be careful not to give advice that would put victims at greater risk, according to the presenters.

This means not allowing evidence of victims seeking support to be seen by abusers, and it means ensuring that if victims intend to leave, such plans are carried out without the abusers’ knowledge.

Signs of head injuries

Common disorders after a head injury include physical ones such as headaches, sleep disturbances, sensitivity to light or noise, dizziness, balance problems, fatigue and seizures; emotional problems such as worry and fear, panic, flashbacks, sadness, depression, hopelessness, anger and irritability; and thinking problems, such as problems remembering or understanding or paying attention or following instructions or starting tasks or deciding what to do next, along with problems organizing and controlling one’s emotions or reactions, according to a flyer presented at the workshop.

Victims should seek medical help when the headache will not go away, when the pupils of the eyes are not the same size, when someone has difficulty remembering what just happened, when they are extremely sleepy or have trouble waking up, or he blurred. speech or numbness or loss of coordination or repeated vomiting or nausea or tremors or startling or confusion, or restlessness or agitation or incontinence or unconsciousness, according to the waver.

There are strategies to deal with the problems that head injuries cause, according to the flyer.

For nightmares and flashbacks or anxiety or a desire to withdraw or a racing heart, it can help to focus on deep breathing or find something to serve as a distraction or seek support by talking to others, according to the flyer.

For memory problems, it can help to set events on a calendar, record things on your phone, put important items always in the same place, set alerts on your phone and ask for appointment reminders.

For hypersensitivity to light or noise, using earplugs, headphones, sunglasses or dimmers can help, and to increase the size of electronic text – and also to schedule an eye exam.

For communication and understanding problems, it can help to ask people to speak more slowly and explain what they are saying; and can help provide the information more than once.

For problems with planning and organization, and for problems with making decisions and starting tasks, it can help to break things down into small steps, write down different ideas, discuss problems with a trusted person, and work on a problem for a set period of time. of time, then take a break when frustration sets in.