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I hate the Tesla Drive-in because it looks so cool
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I hate the Tesla Drive-in because it looks so cool

Elon Musk is a racist bastard who has spent millions of dollars trying to put a bloodthirsty fascist back to the White House. But I found myself conflicted Friday morning while reading a new article at Bloomberg about the Tesla drive-in restaurant and electric vehicle charging center that Musk is opening in Los Angeles. I hate that I love her. And I really wish anyone but Musk was building it right now.

The 1950s-style drive-in, located at Santa Monica Boulevard and Orange Drive in Hollywood, will have 28 electric vehicle charging stations, a restaurant with rooftop seating and two movie screens. The restaurant will also be open 24 hours, according to old reports.

Anyone who knows me can easily understand why I would love the look and concept of this. Bloomberg describes it as a “retro-futuristic carhop-movie-theater-mashup.” And I happen to be the guy who wrote Paleofuturea blog about past visions of the future since 2007. This place was practically made for me. I mean, check out this rendering of what it should eventually look like. It’s straight from The Jetsons.

Tesla Diner
© Tesla

And that’s why I’m so conflicted. Because everything I love about the design of mid-20th-century Los Angeles—with its hopeful vision of tomorrow and Excess lace— clearly represents something very different from guys like Elon Musk. For him, the aesthetics of retrofuturism is that of a reactionary nostalgia of the 1950s and ’60s, laced with all the racism and “traditional” gender roles he constantly complains about these days.

You only have to look at the way Musk talks to see the connection, whether it’s at his big Tesla events or interviews with people like far-right influencers. Tucker Carlson. Musk talks about how “the future should look like the future,” meaning it should mimic the retro-futuristic brilliance of the past. And then he goes on podcasts to complain about the “woke mind virus,” spread lies about trans people, and demonize immigrants. How futuristic.

It’s not hard to see how this restaurant’s aesthetic choices and Musk’s politics can come together. There are plenty of people who enjoy the look of 1960s futurism who aren’t fascists. But if you’re a far-right billionaire, that aesthetic is something very different. Celebrate a moment before awakening upsets like the birth control pill (Musk doesn’t like it), DEI initiatives (Musk thinks diversity and inclusion is against white discrimination), and America’s social acceptance of trans people (Musk also has a real problem with this since his trans daughter disowned him). When someone like Musk embraces retro-future style, the focus is on retro fish future.

I have never owned an electric car. In fact, I don’t currently own a car. But I sometimes drive friends and family’s electric cars and know what a pain charging can be depending on your proximity to Tesla Superchargers. This drive-in seems like a really cool way for people to do that charging while they grab a bite to eat or watch a movie.

Musk is an unethical person who regularly uses shady techniques fudge robot demonstrations and break more labor laws while being firm antiunion. And that’s to say nothing of the fact that he’s also trying to usher in a new wave of Trumpism that promises to terrorize Americans. Trump has vowed to deport millions in a “bloody” operation, says he’ll use the military to go after political opponents like Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi, and his former top aides have literally called him a fascist who wanted Adolf Hitler’s generals.

And yet, I’m stuck looking at this future Tesla restaurant, and I’m thinking it’s a place I’d happily visit if Musk wasn’t involved. I’m the bad guy, to paraphrase a popular memes? I think I’m the bad one.

It is not yet clear when the restaurant might open. YouTube channel 247 Tesla posted a new drone video earlier this week from Hollywood showing progress on a Hollywood restaurant construction site. But reports have suggested that this restaurant concept could be expanded to other locations if it does well.

I despise everything Musk stands for politically and can’t stand any other aesthetic choices the guy has made with trash like the Cybertruck. But I think it’s important to admit that I love this Tesla restaurant concept. I sincerely hope that Musk flees to Russia (I learned yesterday that the billionaire was in “regular contact” with Vladimir Putin from late 2022), but I have to give credit where credit is due.

And my conflicting emotions seem to be the main point. The new Bloomberg article notes that liberal EV owners have soured on Musk, and this restaurant is a way to connect with a consumer base that sees the billionaire as fundamentally opposed to their values. It’s a branding exercise and so far it’s totally worked for me.

Unless something radically changes by the time this restaurant is finished, it looks like a pretty solid retail concept. And if Musk doesn’t end up leaving the country for any number of reasons (Musk said he thinks he’ll be thrown in jail if Kamala Harris wins the election), here’s hoping the staff at Musk’s new restaurant at least unionizes the place. There is absolutely no way George Jetson would get one two-hour workday by any means other than a hard union.