R. Eric Thomas Tribune Content Agency

Dear Eric: My husband and I just returned from a road trip in the Southwest. A few days ago, he was standing in line at a fast food restaurant when another man struck up a conversation with him. When the man asked, “Where is home for you?” My husband answered saying “Los Angeles”. The other man said, “I feel so sorry for you.”

This is not the first time we have received a negative reaction to our hometown. I’ve been hot ever since this happened and I can’t get it off my mind.

We have lived in many places during our 50 years of marriage and choose to live in the Los Angeles area because we love it.

There are many places I wouldn’t want to live, but I would never mention that if I were in a conversation with a person from one of those places. How did our nation become so rude and who thinks it’s okay to insult someone’s home? Please advise me on a polite response to this situation if it comes up again (it will).

– Loving LA

Dear Lover: I agree; LA is great. But even if I disagreed, who cares what I or anyone else who doesn’t live there thinks? As a native Baltimorean, I’m very used to people responding to my hometown with grim appreciations born of exaggerated headlines, political scoring, or just plain ignorance. My favorite line comes from an essay in Samantha Irby’s latest collection, “Quietly Hostile.” She writes about a person who insisted on telling her that he didn’t like something she liked. “I set my face into something akin to mirth and said, in the highest octave, ‘I love it!'”

I like this. Simple, short, undeniable. I’ll tell you what they’re going to do not do you like

When some random person tells you they’re “sorry” you live in LA, they’re trying to engage you in a debate or shame you for your choices. Condolences Rejected!

Refuse to take the bait and tell them “Well, I like it!” Sure, they can point out things that are wrong with the city, but you don’t have to get bogged down in the conversation. You are at peace with your choice. You like it!

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.

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