last monday Kathlete Correia spoke before the Central Criminal Court, where her ex-husband was jailed for eight years for rape and coercive control, among other abuses.

She said making the decision to give up anonymity was difficult, but it was the right one for her. Correia spoke about the years she spent in silence and hiding the truth and how it brought feelings of isolation, shame and guilt. She said she felt that if she remained anonymous, she would continue to carry those feelings.

These emotions and the burden of enduring complex trauma without support will be well recognized by victims and survivors of sexual violence. The social and cultural barriers that prevent people from talking openly about this issue take decades to break down.

In 1993, Lavinia Kerwick waived her anonymity in an interview with Gerry Ryan. Speaking about that seismic moment during an appearance on the Late Late Show in 2019, she said that “before 1990/1991 you never heard the word ‘rape’ on the radio, it was like a curse.”

( The aggressor received eight years for rape and coercive control over his wifeOpens in a new window )

Kerwick’s extraordinary courage paved the way for rape and sexual assault victims to follow her example and speak publicly themselves. As she so powerfully put it, “this guilt and shame does not belong to you, it belongs to the rapist.”

Now, three decades later, Kathleen Correia’s message to the public is still about shame and guilt, the exact same words Lavinia Kerwick used. During this time, thousands of perpetrators hid in plain sight because the social stigma and silence associated with sexual violence had not yet been removed and effectively provided perpetrators with cover.

Dublin Rape Crisis Center is amazed and grateful for the extraordinary contribution made by people who choose to speak publicly about their experience. But for the vast majority, speaking on the court steps is not an option. Only a small fraction of the total number of people who have experienced sexual violence go on to see their perpetrator convicted of a crime.

Those who were sexually abused as children and are now adults face even greater challenges. There are, understandably, many others who do not want to speak publicly, and there should be no pressure or shame in doing so – each survivor of sexual violence must feel for themselves the way forward.

For those unable or unwilling to pursue the legal route, or those who begin the process but never obtain the validation of a conviction, there may not be the same catharsis for the victim that a guilty verdict or public admission of guilt can bring. the wrongdoing. .

( Because of Lavinia Kerwick, Ireland learned about the trauma of sex crimeOpens in a new window )

So what are the options for people for whom legal recourse is not taken? Without criminal justice, is there justice for victims? Where is the validation for what happened? How can survivors find support from someone who understands and has supported other survivors dealing with the same trauma many times before?

During the summer, there was a criminal case in which a husband was found guilty of raping his wife for more than two decades. Media coverage of this case prompted other women who had faced identical experiences to call the 24-hour National Rape Crisis Helpline, women who might never make a complaint to the Gardai, but who saw their own experiences reflected in this case. They quietly shared the triumph of the guilty verdict because it indirectly recognized their own experiences and that gave them the courage to pick up the phone. So there are many other victims silently bearing the trauma of similar experiences and seeking common ground with other survivors.

This is why Dublin Rape Crisis Center has developed the ‘Signs of Hope’ awareness campaign, which gives survivors of sexual violence a platform to connect with others who have not sought help from support services. Eight out of 10 people never seek help. That’s one statistic we’re focused on changing, using messages created by survivors themselves that encourage others to the confidential and anonymous National Rape Crisis Helpline.

( The horrifying experience of Gisèle Pelicot is familiar to some women in IrelandOpens in a new window )

A handwritten message came from a survivor of childhood sexual abuse in a religiously run school. Write: “I know a safe place where you can tell your story.” That in the past there was no safe place for him to speak contradicts what Dublin Archbishop Dermot Farrell reportedly said on US television during the week: “There has been a culture of denial, a culture of cover-up, a the culture of silence, of ignorance.”

Many helpline callers will never go on to tell another person what happened to them. Others said their loved ones suspected they had been affected in some way and tried to offer support, but did not want their families to be “tainted” by what had happened to them.

Some callers actually report what happened to them and we know they will never call us again because all they wanted to do was tell someone about their abuse. Hearing a counselor at the end of a phone call say it was never their fault, that they are believed and that their experience matters is enough for some victims.

A man who called us recently said he just wanted to tell the truth, to admit the terrible mistakes he had endured at school. Like Kathleen Correira, he hoped that telling the truth could set him free.

( Dublin Rape Crisis Center is launching an advertising campaign to raise awarenessOpens in a new window )

It is a hope that binds together the experiences of all survivors who are fronting the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre’s awareness campaign. They believe in a future where there is no shame, no isolation and no stigma, and where people feel empowered to access existing support services.

Many helpline callers start with “I’m not sure you can help me” and “I’m not sure I’m in the right place.” Our message is that we can help you and you are in the right place.

As the slogan of this campaign says: “When you’re ready to talk, we’re ready to listen.”

Rachel Morrogh is the Chief Executive of the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre. Free, confidential help is available to anyone affected by sexual violence on the National Helpline available 24 hours a day on 1800 77 88 88