Of Walter Sanchez Silva

Lima editorial office, November 9, 2024 / 07:00

“You have cancer.” These short but shocking words evoke many feelings in a patient and those around him, including the fear of death.

Fighting cancer is not easy, and many do not know what to do in such a situation, beyond good intentions and a little intuition.

Four experts on the subject have some practical tools to offer support to those suffering from the disease, which in 2022 claimed the lives of 1.4 million people out of a total of 4.2 million cases in the Americas alone, according to the study . Pan American Health Organization (OPS).

Empathy, a key to coping with cancer

“The first thing to do for a person who has cancer is to have a lot of empathy, because this disease is not a simple thing,” Yvo Luren Fernández Montoro told ACI Prensa, CNA’s Spanish-language news partner.

Fernández is a psycho-oncologist and psychotherapist with 23 years of experience, seven of which he worked at the National Institute of Neoplastic Diseases, the most specialized health unit on this topic in Peru, which receives thousands of patients every year.

“Empathy involves recognizing and understanding that the person, before receiving the diagnosis of cancer, already feels anxious, because the patient is facing something difficult that no one wants to face,” continued the specialist, who suffered his father’s death from cancer. in 2019.

Fernández noted that this is because “cancer is closely associated with death.”

“Although today the relationship is not as close,” because there are a lot of scientific advances that allow better treatment, he said, but “just hearing about the possibility that you have the disease already makes you think about death. “

“We need to remind patients of two essential things: they have cancer, but they have life, and as long as there is life, there are things that can be done. And as long as there are things that can be done, there are options to give meaning to life and to have meaning in life,” he said.

“A person has to face cancer with their abilities, either emotionally or looking for solutions based on opportunities. And this must be prioritized,” said Fernández.

According to PAHO, the most commonly diagnosed cancers in men in America are prostate (8.6%), lung (11.7%), colorectal (10.2%) and bladder (5.9%). In women, the most common types are breast (30.7%), lung (10.3%), colorectal (9.6%), and uterine body (6.4%).

With cancer, the whole family “feels bad”

Father Mateo Bautista García, a Spanish Camilian priest who is also a nurse with a doctorate in health ministry theology, explained that “like any disease, cancer raises many fears and questions, including on a spiritual level.”

“First of all, cancer is synonymous with death for many people. For children and young people it is heartbreaking. With cancer, the whole family “feels bad,” he said.

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For this reason, “every person affected by this disease must have a mentor, be continuously accompanied by one or more qualified, close and empathic people” from “the beginning to the end of the process, in all dimensions person: physical , emotional, mental, relational, value-based and spiritual,” explained the priest, who is also known for more than 160 blood donations.

Family support is ‘fundamental’

For Dr. Diego Díaz Bravo, doctor in the gynecological oncology department at the Edgardo Rebagliati National Hospital, the largest in Peru, said “the presence of the family is fundamental at all times, even when the patient himself says he wants to deal with or to manage. only the situation.”

The family, Díaz emphasized, not only accompanies, but also helps manage and process information, as well as providing the necessary psychological help, collaborating with the “spirit of overcoming the disease. The family normally expresses affection and interest to accompany the cancer patient in such a difficult time as this.”

“Thank you, I’m sorry, I love you and goodbye”

Ingrid Oullón Henao is a nurse specializing in palliative care and is the director Accompanying you (“Accompanying You”) from Medellín, Colombia, an initiative that has been providing therapeutic support to patients and their families for 10 years.

Oullón explained to ACI Prensa that “family and friends are the main support network, vital to the process of terminally ill people”. This circle of support helps the cancer patient “satisfy his spiritual needs, such as being recognized as a person, getting your life in order, having hope, expressing religious feelings, experiencing forgiveness, recognizing the afterlife, to evaluate your life and experience love”.

Regarding the specific ways in which cancer patients can be supported, the specialist mentioned the following: “Being present and available; listening in a special, loving, patient and attentive way, respecting moments of silence; to have compassion; timely referral to specialists; offering help with everyday tasks; allowing the person to cry and express their feelings’ and finally ‘to say thank you, ask for forgiveness, say I love you and say goodbye’.

God’s place

Psychotherapist Fernández emphasized that “belief is a very important factor. Spirituality also allows for finding solutions. Not all people have it, but many may be looking for a higher being or a God.”

The expert psychologist, who was a member of Brotherhood of the Lord of Wonders for more than 20 years, said that “with agnostics and atheists, we have to respect their position, but when there is faith in God, it helps a lot because it gives comfort, hope and motivation.”

The “Lord of Miracles” is an image of the crucified Christ especially venerated in Peru, with an annual outdoor procession.

Oullón pointed out that “for those of us who believe that we are beings created by God, eternal and immortal”, it is also good to keep in mind that after death, if we have lived well, God is waiting “for us to continue our process of spiritual transcendence” and “this faith fills us with hope!”

In addition, and as a very important factor, the Catholic Church offers, among its seven sacraments, the anointing of the sick, which aims to “give a special grace to the Christian who is going through the difficulties inherent in the state of serious illness. or old age”, according to no. 1527 from the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

“Every time a Christian becomes seriously ill, he can receive the anointing of the sick, and also when, after receiving it, the illness worsens,” the catechism states. no. 1529, and in no. 1530 stipulates that “only a priest or a bishop can administer this sacrament” because it involves the forgiveness of the sins of the sick person.

How to prevent cancer?

Díaz said you should have an appointment for a cancer check-up at least once a year, especially after age 40, when men are more likely to get prostate cancer and women to get breast cancer or ovarian.

If good follow-up is carried out and the family and other history of the disease is taken into account, then “timely and early diagnosis will be possible, which translates into a better survival rate”. he explained.

Prostate and gastrointestinal screening in men, and mammograms and Pap smears in women are recommended for this purpose, noted the oncologist.

“Finally, it is important that every family plans an annual preventive check-up, as it will allow timely diagnoses and less radical treatments,” the expert concluded.

Fighting cancer is not easy, nor is it a task that anyone wants to deal with, but these tools can help those who are facing this situation and encourage those who are sick, who are always in the heart of the Lord .

“To those of you who are dealing with an illness, be it temporary or chronic, I would say this: don’t be ashamed of your longing for closeness and tenderness! Don’t hide it and never think that you are a burden to others. The plight of the sick urges us all to step back from the hectic pace of our lives to rediscover ourselves,” Pope Francis said. in his message for the World Day of the Sick in 2024.

In summary, here are seven practical ways you can help a cancer patient:

1. Practice empathy. Acknowledge the patient’s distress and anxiety, understand their experience and show compassion. Remind the patient that although they have cancer, they are still alive and look for ways to make sense of this stage.

2. Provide constant emotional support. Make sure the patient feels accompanied, from diagnosis to the end of the process. Involve the family so that they are close and provide emotional and spiritual support.

3. Maintain a strong support system. Family and friends are essential for the patient’s emotional stability. They help process the situation and encourage the patient to maintain their spirits and hope.

4. Allow feelings to be expressed. Be present to listen without judgment, be patient, and allow the patient to express himself, even in quiet moments. Let the person feel free to cry and talk about their fears and feelings.

5. Express gratitude and reconciliation. Encourage the patient to say “thank you,” “sorry,” “love you,” and “goodbye” when needed, helping the person find inner peace.

6. Provide support based on spiritual beliefs. Faith and spirituality can be sources of comfort and hope. For patients who are believers, prayer, anointing of the sick and spiritual guidance can be a great support.

7. Provide support for practical tasks. Offer help with daily activities that may be difficult for the patient, such as paperwork, getting around, or even household chores.

This story was published for the first time by ACI Prensa, CNA’s Spanish language news partner. It was translated and adapted by CNA.

Walter Sánchez Silva is a senior writer for ACI Prensa ( With over 15 years of experience, he has reported on important ecclesial events in Europe, Asia and Latin America during the pontificates of Benedict XVI and Pope Francis. Email: walter@ aciprensa .com