Dear Miss MANNERS: When I take my sons to the pediatrician or call them to make an appointment, the receptionist or nurse always calls my mom. I give them my name but never use it and they keep calling me mom.

I love being a mom, don’t get me wrong. And I love my sons. But that brings me bananas. I am not the mother of these people!

Are they overreacting? If so, I’ll let it go. I realize it probably makes life easier for the staff and I hope I’m not being rude by correcting them. Maybe some people like to be called mother.

But there’s something about it that feels a little condescending, like I’m not a separate person from my children.

THE GENTLE READER: “Which mother? I’m Mrs. Starwood.” (Or “Dr. Starwood” if it applies and you want to get the rank.)

If this doesn’t work — or is forgotten on the very next visit — Miss Manners allows you to be annoyed. But then she recommends letting it go. For the purposes of this visit, you are an extension of the child.

And while these professionals might put in a little more effort, you don’t want to be arguing with your child’s caregivers.

Dear Miss MANNERS: I invited my best friend to a concert more than a month before the show. She said she would have to come back to me as it falls on her sister’s birthday weekend. Two weeks later, I still haven’t heard from my friend.

Meanwhile, my 11-year-old son asked me if he could attend with me. His father will be there too. I prefer to bring my son. What is the best way to handle this?

THE GENTLE READER: “I assumed that since I hadn’t heard from you, you couldn’t attend the concert. Marcus has expressed interest, so he’s coming with me. Hope to see you at another event soon.”

Miss Manners notes that this has the added benefit of alerting your friend that if she’s expected to attend the next event, she’d better act fast.

Dear Miss MANNERS: My wife and I were going to a university production of “HMS Pinafore”. A student was sitting right in front of me wearing a white baseball cap.

I could tell that the hat would detract from my enjoyment of the show, so I asked the young man, “Would you mind taking your hat off? It’s a bit of a distraction.” It complied and I enjoyed the piece enormously.

The next day, my wife informed me that she was embarrassed by my behavior, that I was wrong, and that wearing a hat in this situation was commonly accepted in today’s society.

Am I an incorrigible antiquity or was he right?

THE GENTLE READER: An incorrigible antiquarian herself, Miss Manners agrees with you and argues that baseball caps should not be worn anywhere but a ballpark. The argument that it is now commonly accepted does not move her.

But the fact that the student complied politely should be more important than your wife’s objection. If he wasn’t upset or embarrassed, why should she be?

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.