The first step for parentsto build connections with them BOYSis to understand the importance of adaptation communication techniques for each child’s unique personality and developmental needs, especially children with special needs. Strategies such as reflective listening, using play in conversations, encouraging storytelling and non-directive communication promote a safe, open and supportive environment.

In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Monica S Kumar, social development expert and founder of BloomBuds ASD Life Trust, suggested the following tips to help parents connect effectively with their children, promote emotional intelligence and ensure that children they feel heard and understood in a nurturing parent-child relationship –

1. Adapt communication styles to your child’s personality

While age is a major factor in communication, it is also important to consider each child’s unique personality. Children have different communication preferences, and understanding this allows parents to develop a deeper connection.

• Recognize individual communication needs: For children with special needs, especially those with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or ADHD, a personalized approach can be even more essential. Many children with ASD find verbal expression challenging, so parents can use techniques such as visual aids and social stories to bridge communication gaps. Active listening can be especially beneficial for children who may struggle with verbal expression. Involving stakeholders, NGOs support parents of children with special needs by providing tools and strategies to improve active listening, ensuring that each child is fully understood.

2. Use reflective listening beyond words

Reflective listening is a vital communication tool that goes beyond just paraphrasing what a child says – it also involves recognizing the emotions behind their words and responding accordingly.

• Identify and label emotions: When a child talks about an experience, try to identify the emotions behind his words. For example, if they say, “No one played with me at recess,” you could respond with, “Looks like you were lonely today.” This not only helps the child feel understood, but also helps them develop emotional intelligence by associating emotions with their experiences.
• For children with special needs, such as those on the autism spectrum or ADHD, emotional recognition can be especially difficult. Programs designed to train parents of children with ASD or ADHD focus on recognizing emotional cues that are not always verbal. Workshops offered by specialist support organizations educate parents on emotional identification, helping children navigate the complex world of emotions, which is particularly difficult for those who may not communicate their feelings clearly.

3. Include the game in conversations

Play can be an effective way to break down barriers in communication with children, especially when dealing with sensitive topics.

• Role playing scenarios: Engaging in role play can make it easier for children to express emotions that are difficult to explain. For example, using stuffed animals to represent situations can allow children to project their feelings onto the characters, providing insight into their emotional world.
• Humor as an icebreaker: Light humor can help ease the tension during difficult conversations. Sharing a funny anecdote or gentle teasing can make children feel more comfortable and willing to talk about their concerns without fear of judgment.
• In specialized programs for children with autism, playful interactions such as role-play and sensory activities encourage self-expression in ways that words cannot. Such activities also help parents and children better understand each other’s emotional worlds, fostering deeper connections.

4. It encourages narrative construction

Children’s cognitive and emotional development can benefit greatly from building narratives around their experiences. Encouraging children to describe events as stories helps them process emotions and articulate their thoughts more effectively.

• Daily Story Time: Ask open-ended questions that give you more details, such as “What was the best part of your day?” or “How did it make you feel?” This helps children reflect on their emotions and practice communicating them clearly.
• For children with special needs, narrative construction can become a vital tool to help them connect with their experiences and emotions. Therapists often encourage parents of children with ASD and ADHD to engage in structured storytelling activities where children are given space to process their day in a way that feels safe and accessible. Organizations that focus on ASD offer workshops that teach parents how to engage in non-judgmental and compassionate dialogue, reducing communication barriers for their children.
• Some tools that can help build the narrative are cutouts and drawings of different situations and emotions made available to children with autism and allow them to touch, relate to those situations and express their emotions.

5. Focus on non-directive communication

Non-directive communication is a style in which the child leads the conversation while the parent provides support without taking control.

• Let them lead the conversation: When a child starts to talk about something important to him, immediately avoid offering advice or solutions. Instead, allow them to fully explore the topic and share their thoughts. This helps build confidence in their ability to communicate openly.
• In cases where children with ASD or ADHD struggle to initiate or lead conversations, non-directive communication strategies can be adapted to allow them to feel in control without pressure. Support organizations provide parents with personalized guidance on how to give their children with special needs the space to express themselves at their own pace, building their confidence in communication.

Again, toys and pictures of various kinds can motivate children to recount incidents that might not otherwise be at the forefront of their mind. We can remember when an autistic child once told us that there is music on the school bus, the seats are blue and the “didi” (support staff) sits with him on the bus.

6. Normalize difficult conversations

Children often shy away from sharing difficult or “taboo” topics because they fear their parents’ reactions. By normalizing these conversations, parents create a safe space where children feel free to discuss anything without fear of judgment or punishment.

Unlike other children, those with special needs, especially those with autism, find it difficult to discuss socially awkward or complex topics. By promoting open dialogue and making sure they feel safe to express their thoughts, parents can help children with special needs navigate challenging conversations in a supportive environment.

As we chat and play casually, we often ask young boys and girls if anyone has pushed them, touched them inappropriately, not played with them, etc. The process of normalizing difficult conversations removes fear and taboo.

7. The role of NGOs in supporting parents and children

Special needs advocacy organizations serve as a bridge for families, especially those with children who face unique challenges. By offering practical tools, counseling and support groups, these organizations help parents deal with unique communication challenges. These initiatives ensure that children with special needs can develop healthy and open relationships with their parents.

• Counseling and emotional support: Raising children with special needs can sometimes feel isolating for parents. Many NGOs offer emotional support and counseling services to help parents manage the emotional demands of caregiving and promote healthier family dynamics. As parents work to establish better communication, it is important to remember that the goal is not perfection, but progress. Every conversation is an opportunity to connect, understand and nurture the relationship with their children, ultimately raising confident and emotionally secure children.