One mum admitted she was fed up with all the holiday planning falling on her shoulders and decided to take matters into her own hands to ensure her husband was as involved as she was.

Posting on the r/TwoXChromosomes subreddit, she claimed that for planning this year’s vacation, she doesn’t want to have to do most of the work herself, so she’s scheduling ahead to make sure her husband attends.

She instituted the mandatory holiday evenings for her husband after realizing how much women do to make the season happen.

“As I start going over my holiday planning (food I’m making, relative’s houses we’re going to, gifts I have and gifts I need to get, supplies packed), I really see how much work, everything is every year,” she wrote in her since-deleted Reddit post.

She explained that during the holiday season last year, when everyone was opening presents, she realized that no men from each side of the family attended to get the presents.

This included wrapping, decorating, planning or even preparing the food that everyone would eat later in the day. She recalled that her father-in-law had bought her mother-in-law a necklace from a department store but didn’t even bother to wrap it, while her father asked if he could buy a gift for her mother . .

Drazen Zigic | Shutterstock

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The wife refuses to perpetuate the cycle of holiday magic that slowly falls on women’s shoulders.

“Mothers, wives and girlfriends did everything else. This goes back decades and generations and it’s annoying. I have vivid memories of the men passing out brandy and cigars while the wives ran around preparing Christmas dinner,” she continued.

“To combat this, I instituted mandatory holiday nights for my husband where we both sit down and buy presents, wrap presents, make holiday food, pack the car to see relatives, etc.

She claimed that her husband was not happy with this arrangement, given that his father did not have to do this when he was growing up.

However, she refused to keep this tradition of women in the family being responsible for every little thing when men were just as capable.

She insisted that she would be done with it and that she would no longer fuel this outdated tradition.

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Wives are often burdened with most of the tasks and projects in their families, especially during the holidays.

Honestly, women are tasked with being responsible for a lot of the mental load in their families, especially when it comes to planning activities, vacation outings, and even vacations.

Women in heterosexual relationships tend to bear a significantly greater share of the “mental load”, often estimated to be around 70-80% of the cognitive work involved in running a household.

This ranges from primarily managing to planning, remembering and coordinating family tasks, even if their partners contribute to the physical chores. Even something as small as planning a family vacation ends up falling into the woman’s hands.

Women are expected to drop everything and ensure that functions, outings and family events are perfect, while men are simply allowed to have fun.

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It’s a shame she has to force her husband to stay with her and help plan the holiday season instead of doing it himself.

Unfortunately, this type of behavior is modeled through generations and it is good that she chooses to break the cycle and make sure her husband is aware that this the burden will no longer fall on her.

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern issues and experiences.