Baggage. We all have it. But at what point does it become a relationship breakup? My clients often tell me they are looking for someone with little or no emotional baggage. Yes, it can make life simpler if there are no ex-wives to negotiate with, no child support to pay, and no illnesses or emotional issues to deal with. But if you’re a certain age, I hope you’ve lived and experienced as much as possible.

However, handling emotional baggage properly can strengthen a relationship rather than turning it into a business. So don’t be too quick to cancel someone because of extra baggage. On the other hand, you might meet a few relationship breaks which you cannot overcome or accept. That’s why it’s essential to understand what works for you. in a relationship – and what not.

If you keep ignoring these nine signs, you’ll never find the one:

1. Dating someone who “jumps the gun” on a relationship

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If your boyfriend or girlfriend proclaims his undying love for you on the first date, chances are he/she is not right for you. It’s not flattering – it’s creepy. If this person thinks they “know” you after only a few hours or even just a few dates, then they are not interested in the real you. He just is interested in having someone.

According to research conducted by the University of Denvermoving too quickly without allowing enough time to develop a strong foundation in your relationship is associated with a higher potential for breakup. Multiple studies emphasize the importance of taking time to build trust and compatibility before making significant decisions.

This person could turn out to be a stalker or worse. You’re better off alone than with someone who wants to be intimate too soon.

RELATED: The Brutal Truth About Jumping Into A Rebound Relationship Too Soon

2. Being too specific about your “dream” person.

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We all have our ‘dream man’ or ‘perfect woman’. “They have to be over 1.5 meters tall and have a full head of hair.” “He must weigh 110 kilos and have a 36D chest.” But if this is your criteria for a “soul mate”, I have news for you: you probably won’t find the love of your life!

On the contrary, do you want to be with someone who finds you attractive but could care less about the person on the inside? Appearances are fleeting. Looking for a soul mate which is beautiful under the skin. You never know which package your soul mate will end up in. Be flexible and you might be pleasantly surprised.

3. Dating people you know don’t fit in with your family

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If someone is truly your soul mate, he or she will be around for a long time. You probably want to be with someone who would fit in well with your family and friends…someone you’d be proud to take home to mom and dad.

Don’t date a man who wants you to dress like a porn star. He doesn’t see you as “wife material” or the mother of his future children. And guys, if you really are in search of your soul matedon’t date someone you’d be embarrassed to bring home to your parents.

4. Being with someone inconsiderate of others

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A person who treats others badly, such as waiters and servants, has a poor character. Chances are he or she will treat you just as harshly in the future.

Conformable research conducted by UC Berkeley expertsunpleasant people—those with selfish, combative, manipulative personalities—don’t make it to the top or be more successful than anyone else. So don’t fool yourself into thinking your partner is just ambitious; instead, judge him by how he treats others personally and professionally. Never settle for someone who is rude or inconsiderate of others’ feelings.

RELATED: 5 Red Flag Signs Your Partner Is Inconsiderate and Very Selfish

5. A partner who sees you first and foremost as a future parent

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If you’re desperate to have a baby—and yes, that goes for some men, too—you can’t let that affect your search for a partner. Don’t settle for anything less than a soulmate because your biological clock is ticking. And if your potential partner brings up the topic of having children with you even before your second date, be careful not to be used as a sperm bank.

6. Support with bad manners or hygiene

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A true soul mate will have your feelings in mind. He or she will not offend you with bad manners or poor hygiene. If he spends every meal on his cell phone, avoiding conversation with you, get rid of him. (If he’s a doctor or a single parent and gets an emergency call, give him some time!)

Poor hygiene can be a major problem for potential partners. Research indicates that poor personal care it can have a significant negative impact on relationships, often leading to decreased attraction, less intimacy, and even breakups.

If your potential soulmate always meets you in a t-shirt and flip-flops and doesn’t bother to brush their teeth, then they don’t care about your feelings. If he belches and pees at the dinner table and clenches his teeth with a matchbook, he’s not for you. Your soul mate will want to show you his “best side” even after the first few dates.

7. A partner who is full of himself/herself.

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Self-confidence is attractive — boasting is not. Confidence may even be a strong predictor of overall romantic attractiveness, according to Sean Murphya doctorate. student in Psychological Science at the University of Queensland School of Psychology, who conducted four research studies that tested how people react to trust in the dating world.

Men who brag about how much money they make, their six-pack abs, or their brand new Ferrari are not soulmate material. This “macho talk” means he’s more interested in you than you. And it works both ways.

Men are turned off by women who always talk about their looks and have a taste for expensive jewelry or manicures. Look for a partner who is modest in appearance and accomplishments.

RELATED: 3 Small Root Causes of Low Self-Confidence, According to a Psychologist

8. A partner who needs or needs maintenance

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Never settle for a partner who relies solely on you for entertainment. An attractive soulmate is independent, not joined at the hip. He or she should have your best interests in mind. When I ask my male clients if they care what kind of job a woman has, 95 percent of the time they will say, “I don’t care what she does as long as she has a job and it’s something she like or is passionate.”

He doesn’t want the pressure of knowing that she’s just waiting for him to finish work or whatever he’s doing so he can get home to entertain her. A certain degree of independence ensures a balanced and healthy relationship.

9. A partner who always talks about his ex

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Recent studies have found that while breakups take a more immediate emotional toll on women, men often “never fully recover — they just move on — but knowing your man is still obsessed with his ex can be a real bummer. Nobody wants to hear it. stories or complaints about ex. You want to get involved with someone from the past and be ready for a new relationship.

I often get feedback from both men and women about their dating experiences and further about their exes. And it’s usually incredibly damaging. Put the past in the past and focus on the person in front of you. Baggage or not, the quality of character will carry you through a long and happy journey with your soul mate.

RELATED: 6 Zodiac Signs Who Are Clinging To Their Exes

Marla Materson is an award-winning author, spiritual life coach, matchmaker, energy healer, and intuitive reader.