Dear Miss MANNERS: I see some childhood friends a few times a year. We all live in different cities and meet at a centrally located restaurant in a city we can all drive to.

Now that we are getting older, conversations include aging and future plans. In what I now know was a mistake, I mentioned that I might start spending my winters in a warm, southern state.

One person in this group now brings it up several times at every meeting, telling me repeatedly, “You should buy a place there and we’ll come see you.” He texts me and includes questions about whether or not I’ve shopped for real estate yet.

Her behavior doesn’t suggest she’s just out to have a little fun. It seems he just wants a place to stay in that area. She never visited me at my current home and never invited me to hers. I didn’t even talk to her on the phone. I don’t think this friend is on a budget or needs a break because she drives a luxury car that I would never consider buying.

Any suggestions? There are others in the group that I would like to be friends with. None of them make similar statements. I started to just ignore her or change the subject.

Now I’m thinking that if I start spending the winter in a rented apartment, or maybe even buy a small place, I wouldn’t invite her. Is this unfair? It would probably mean the end of the friendship, but pressuring someone like that seems rude.

WHITE READER: How about sending your realtor’s name? “You seemed so excited at the prospect of a home in a warmer climate that I thought you might like to look for yourself. I haven’t settled on a time or a place yet, and you seem anxious to have a place to stay.”

When you find a place, Miss Manners agrees not to invite this person. If she persists, simply say it’s not a good time or you don’t have the room — as many times as it takes for her to understand.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)