Dear ABBY: I’m in an online group with neighbors but haven’t been able to get out and meet some of the newer members in person. A person signs their posts in a language I don’t recognize and I was wondering if there was a polite way to ask them how to pronounce their name and what language it is. There doesn’t seem to be a way to broach the subject without sounding negative.

Also, when I hear people in my local store speaking another language, I’m curious because I’m semi-fluent in three languages ​​and I’m interested in learning more, but again, what’s a polite way to ask? — GROWING UP IN VIRGINIA

Dear MINUBARE: If you have the slightest qualms about asking your neighbors how to pronounce their name and what language it is in, then don’t do it online. Ask another neighbor or wait until you can meet them face to face.

When you’re out and about and you hear a language you don’t recognize, smile at people, tell them you speak three languages, the way theirs sounds, and ask what it is, because you’d love to learn it. If the question is asked in a friendly way, most people will respond in the same way. (I did this recently at a supermarket. The answer was that they came from Indonesia and spoke Malay.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.