• A tech worker uses microdosing to manage PTSD and improve his performance at work.
• Microdosing helps them focus and reduces panic attacks, increasing work efficiency.
• Despite the benefits, she remains cautious about the potential risks of high-level mushroom consumption.

This essay, as stated, is based on a conversation with a 46-year-old tech worker in Atlanta who wished to remain anonymous for privacy and professional reasons. Business Insider has verified her identity and employment, and her words have been edited for length and clarity.

I work in technology for a notable Fortune 40 company. I started working for this company in 2004 when I was 26 years old. In 2012, my company placed me in Atlanta to open a new hub, so I moved there with my husband and daughter.

One day at work, I was told to speak to an employee who was considered combative. On the way to talk to this person, I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. I went to the bathroom to try to calm down, but I still felt out of breath. I continued the work day with this feeling.

Later that day, I gave a presentation. When I started to present, my voice and whole body started shaking. I didn’t realize it was a panic attack.

A few years later, in 2014, I started microdosing to fight those intense feelings. I found it made me better at my job – even if I have to be careful.

I started microdosing to help with my complex PTSD

I had a traumatic childhood that included abuse and abandonment. This led me to develop myself Complex PTSDand I was diagnosed with dissociative personality disorder as an adult.

When I moved to Atlanta, it was the most stressful job I’ve ever had. I was responsible for hundreds of employees who reported directly to me.

During this time, my ex-husband from my previous marriage started a lawsuit to get custody of our daughter. It was the most stressful time of my life. My colleague suggested I talk to a professional and get help, but I was afraid of seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist or “talking therapist”. Before I moved to Atlanta, talking about my past with a therapist made my body feel like it was in physical danger from CPTSD.

I also tried focus patches, ADHD medication, and all kinds of physical changes to my environment, but nothing worked, or the side effects were unpleasant. I didn’t want to go through that this time.

In April 2013, I started attending a non-denominational church where I met a life coach. She recommended using mushrooms medicinally to process trauma. In December 2013, I attended my first the medicine ceremony.

My performance at work has been miserable

Although it helped me feel relieved, at this point, I was told that my work performance was suffering. I was dissociating at work because of the stress, which it did to me inconsistent work performance. We also dissociate outside work.

During my dissociations, I felt disconnected from my body and my environment. Sometimes I was driving my car and it felt like my car was floating. I decided to give cognitive behavioral therapy another try.

From attending my medicine ceremonies, I learned about microdosing. My body is very sensitive to drugs and alcohol, so I was interested in learning more about how microdosing would affect me. But I didn’t know where to get drugs. I found someone who sold me 10 microdosing capsules through my ceremony contacts for $40. I took the capsules for two days, then took a day off. Since we were taking them several days a week, this got expensive.

Buying from dealers was difficult and inconsistent, so I decided to go for it I grow my own mushrooms. I experimented and learned how to do it myself by growing it in a tub.

The combination of traditional talk therapy and microdosing changed my life

Microdosing creates space between my mental, emotional and physical states, so I dissociate less and am less prone to panic attacks. When I have big projects, it’s hard for me to figure out where to start or what to focus on. Microdosing helps me focus on one task at a time to tackle the project in smaller chunks and not feel overwhelmed.

Although my work requires coding, research is also a major component of my work. I often have to solve unique problems that don’t have much literature on them. This makes it hard to stay focused because I’m constantly going back and forth between coding and research, but microdosing helps me get into a flow state.

Despite being a bit foggy about the problems I’m working on, I can stay on track when switching between research and coding. Also it helps me remember new better information.

My therapist warned me against medical ceremonies

I have to be careful. There was one time I accidentally took double the usual dose, saw my hands shaking and realized I was too drunk to work. I knew I couldn’t handle a date with colleagues in this state. Fortunately, I was able to take some time during my lunch break to get back to normal and was able to get back to work.

I am open with my therapist about my microdosing. She supports me even though she cautioned me against attending medicine ceremonies because taking large doses of mushrooms may cause dissociation. My body is already dissociating from PTSD so that could make things worse for me.

My performance has improved now, I am a lawyer

I don’t need Xanax or anti-depressants. I just need a little help. Microdosing helps me bridge traditional medicine and make it through life. My performance at work has improved a lot.

Since starting microdosing, I have been a much better mother, wife, employee, and person. I am a lawyer.

Editor’s Note: There is no medical consensus on whether these psychedelics have benefits drugs can come with risks.

If you have a unique experience with microdosing in the workplace and would like to share your story, please email Manseen Logan at [email protected].