Tired of making chicken nuggets for your child night after night? Worried your preschooler will turn into a berry after eating so many of them? Are you upset that parents on social media brag about how their kids eat all their vegetables?

If you are the parent of a toddler who is a picky eater, you probably answered yes to all of the above. And you’re probably frustrated and maybe worried about whether your baby is getting the nutrients he needs.

Worry no more, says the UNC Health pediatrician Edward Pickens, MD.

“Picky eating is common and normal in toddlers and preschoolers,” he says. “It resolves itself over time.”

Dr. Pickens says there’s not much you can do while you wait, other than make another peanut butter and jelly sandwich (without the crust).

“There are hundreds of parenting books out there on the subject, but if anything worked, it would freeze the market,” says Dr. Pickens. “The number of books shows you that no one method is successful, but it also shows how desperate parents are because they feel what they’re doing isn’t working and they should try something else.”

Instead of giving advice that won’t get your preschooler to try a bite—just a bite! — from a green vegetable, Dr. Pickens says parents should know these things to make peace with picky eating.

1. They get enough to eat.

Cookies and berries aren’t enough for an adult to get through the afternoon, but they do the trick for a toddler.

“Toddlers and preschoolers really crave energy in the form of carbohydrates,” says Dr. Pickens. “Fruit and carbohydrates are the typical diet because they fuel their energy-rich lifestyle.”

If your toddler or preschooler can run around all day and still maintain his weight, he’s getting enough to eat, even if he eats the same sandwich or snack over and over.

“For toddlers and preschoolers, these are not rapid growth years,” says Dr. Pickens, noting that you can always wonder pediatrician if you are concerned about your child’s weight or height. “There’s not a big difference in size between a 3- and 4-year-old because it’s slow-motion growth.”

And while adults tend to split their caloric intake between three large meals, Dr. Pickens says it’s okay if that doesn’t work for your little one.

“Three meals a day is a social construct built around how adults like to eat and socialize,” says Dr. Pickens. “Toddlers are grazers who tend to prefer small bites throughout the day, so many children may not need anything at dinner time.”

You can have your child sit with you while everyone else eats, as a family meal is a great way to bond and communicate, but there’s no need to push him if he’s not interested in eating.

2. A bland diet appeals to their senses.

Sure, it’s incredibly frustrating when a child won’t even taste a new food, but if your child tries it and rejects it, it won’t be difficult.

“Every sensation is more intense for young children,” says Dr. Pickens. “The lights are brighter and the sounds are louder, so the taste and texture will be difficult for them too.”

This can also go for the visual presentation of food, which is why tears it starts to flow when your child notices that two foods are touching each other or that a favorite plate is not being used.

While adults are encouraged to eat a rainbow of fruits and vegetables, Dr. Pickens says it’s okay if your child eats a bland diet of white and brown foods (usually potatoes, peanut butter sandwiches, and chicken nuggets) . By the time they start elementary school, most of these preferences will begin to disappear.

Dr. Pickens says there can be exceptions to this: If you notice that the act of eating seems physically uncomfortable for your child, or if they seem really overwhelmed by the presence of food, talk to your pediatrician. He could have a physical problem such as acid refluxor there could be a distinct sensory dysfunction. Some children may develop food avoidance/restriction disorder (ARFID) due to anxiety and discomfort around food.

3. You can’t win and that’s okay.

As adults, it seems reasonable that a small child should be able to try two bites of a delicious meal without arguing. However, toddlers are not reasonable, so Dr. Pickens says to give up the fight and embrace the chicken nuggets.

“With young children, you never fight a battle you can’t win, and you can’t win this one,” he says.

And don’t try to force a child to eat something with the promise of a reward like dessert or a negative consequence.

“Kids this age live in the moment, so they don’t care about a future reward,” says Dr. Pickens. “And if you say something like, ‘You have to eat this meal before you can eat anything else,’ it’s going to be an empty threat. They will be waiting for you outside.”

Forcing the issue can create animosity around food and mealtimes, and your child may be ready to argue with you at every meal. Dr. Pickens says that for young children, it’s better to just make the sandwich and have it look like your idea, rather than something your child earned.

When your child is 5 and older, Dr. Pickens says it’s more appropriate to try some of the advice often offered to parents of picky eaters: Invite your child to help plan and prepare the meal, giving them a choice of two vegetables or insisting that everyone eats the same meal rather than making your child a separate dish. However, some children may take a little longer to start eating like the rest of the family, so avoid creating ultimatums or punishments around food.

“Parenting isn’t about creating battles,” says Dr. Pickens. “When they’re school age, you can bring them into the process without making it look like it’s a negotiation about trying the food. By negotiating, you risk losing the battle.”

4. You can still model healthy eating behaviors.

Dr. Pickens says there’s one scenario where a toddler or preschooler might skip the picky eating stage: if they’re never offered anything but fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats. Of course, this scenario is unrealistic for the average family.

“A hundred years ago, a snack was picking an apple from a tree,” he says. “Probably there were no picky eaters back then.”

But few families want to completely banish “fun” foods like cookies and cakes, and even if you do, your child will make friends whose families don’t follow the same strict rules.

The best approach is to model balance in your own eating, Dr. Pickens says, because your child is paying attention to what you choose and when.

“Set a good example,” says Dr. Pickens. “Keep healthy foods in the house and actually eat them, even if your child doesn’t.”