It was a Saturday afternoon during Simchat Torah, the last festival of the month-long Jewish Holidays. Every year, it is a happy occasion; we dance in the synagogue and the children are given bags of candy as we gather to celebrate the year it took to finish reading the entire Torah.

On October 7, 2023, I arrived at my synagogue in Melbourne with my husband and children. Because it was during a festival when Orthodox Jews do not use phones, money or electricity, I was disconnected from technology. We still didn’t know that a few hours earlier, Hamas had led a massive attack in Israel that resulted in the brutal killing of about 1,200 people, including about 800 civilians.

I remember the hush that spread through the crowd when a security guard arrived to inform us that a war had broken out in Israel. What do you mean there were hundreds of Israeli casualties? I asked myself. How could dozens of hostages be taken back to Gaza?

My life changed from that day. In Australia, although we are geographically far from the Middle East, October 7 marked a seismic shift for my community. Anti-Semitism is on the riseand many in my community worry about our safety. None of the victims on October 7 seemed random to me. Jews make up about 14 million people worldwide, or 0.2% of the global population, and I had many connections to many of those killed. This involved my sister-in-law’s cousin, Goodbye Vital Kaplounwho was killed in her home in Kibbutz Holit in front of her two children, who later appeared in a Hamas clip that appeared on Telegram.

Israel’s actions in Gaza also mean Palestinians face untold danger. I see the terrible videos, including that of Sha’ban al-Dalou in a hospital yard connected to an IV drip as he is burned alive after an Israeli airstrike. I see him the destruction of so many homes in Gazamany people suffering and now homeless. My heart is broken for the non-Hamas Palestinians whose relatives and children have been killed by Israel and their businesses and homes destroyed. I follow Palestinian journalists on social media and am horrified by the carnage they live through.

But since October 7, there are also palpable personal safety concerns for Jews that are real and experienced daily. I find myself watching my 7-year-old son practice active shooter drills in his after-school Hebrew classes, something he never did before October 7, a stark reminder of the threats that have grown too close to home. In Caulfield, the suburb where I live and stand for Parliament in 2022 as a Green independent, there is uneasiness in the air. At my children’s Jewish preschool, security has increased, parents have volunteered to monitor drop-off and pick-up times, and larger fences have been built. I often think twice about whether it is safe to go to my synagogue or a Jewish institution.

Just a few months ago, Melbourne’s largest Jewish school, Mount Scopus Memorial College in Burwood, was adorned with graffiti that read “I Die Jewish”and last November, a synagogue around the corner from my house was evacuated after a violent protest. I sometimes ask my sons, who are seven and three, to wear baseball caps over their skulls, worried that our Jewish observance might make us a target for abuse when we go out in public.

I know most Australians are good and caring people. I know the debates about Israel and Palestine and Australia’s approach will continue as long as this war rages. But I also want to share my experiences with this conflict to show how it affects the lives of the Jewish people, that we not only have family members who were killed or who knew people killed on October 7, but we also feel safe in Australia. Every day, a conflict thousands of kilometers away from Melbourne affects my life. Some of my siblings live in Israel, many of my friends live there, and I feel a deep connection to my Jewish culture and heritage.

In the year since the war between Hamas and Israel began, many Australian Jews are missing. We feel we have been abandoned and ignored by many progressive allies who have not been able to unequivocally condemn the killing of Israeli civilians and the rape of Israeli women on October 7. For me, October 7 marked a turning point; in the weeks that followed i stepped down from my role on the board of Faith Communities Council of Victoriawho could not condemn the killing of the Jews on October 7. It was hurtful that an organization in which we had invested so much time and effort could not be clear in its denunciation of terrorism.

Last year was one of the hardest I can remember in Australia. This is the country my grandfather, a Holocaust survivor, chose for the promise of safety and distance from the horrors of Europe. The Middle East may be far away, but the pain, fear and pain is felt daily – both for those we mourn in Israel and those suffering in Gaza. We all deserve peace, but we feel further away than ever.