While Judge Bill Lawson refused permanent name suppression when the man was sentenced in the Tauranga District Court on Friday, he still cannot be named after indicating he plans to appeal.

A jury found him guilty earlier this year after hearing how woman slept with a colleague while intoxicated but she woke up to find him sexually assaulting her.

She described his attack as “one of the most extreme violations a person can endure”.

The physical and emotional consequences were severe – she was unable to sit comfortably in the days following the attack and was in pain driving to the police station and attending medical examinations.

She had suffered bruises and still had scars from the man’s “nails torn into (her)”.

“These are a constant reminder of what happened to me and haunt me every time I look in the mirror.”

It also affected her husband and young children.

“This has robbed our children of precious time with their mother,” she said.

“Once very involved in their school and activities, I am now rarely able to pick them up or drop them off.”

They had lost the “carefree, happy mother they once knew” as she sometimes struggled to get out of bed and constantly feared for their safety.

“They wake me up in the night, scared and needing reassurance, only to find a mother who is terrified to be woken.”

It affected her relationship with her husband because “the joy of (their) connection was overshadowed by these painful memories of being raped.”

“I know it affected him enormously. It’s not easy to live knowing that another man violated your wife in such a hideous way.”

The woman said the process was re-traumatizing, but she wanted to make sure the man would never do something like this again.

She asked Judge Lawson “for justice.”

“Not just for me, but for my family, whose lives have been irrevocably changed,” she said.

“Also, please make sure (the man) gets the help he needs so he never does this again.”

Speaking to NZME after the sentencing, the woman said she hoped other women would feel encouraged to speak up if they had been sexually assaulted.

“I hope it will give other people hope and help someone else stand up for themselves,” she said.

Although he felt it would have been easier to avoid the legal process, it was the right thing to do to ensure there were no more victims.

Her advice to those who have been sexually assaulted was to “stay strong”.

“Get support, get counselling, contact Tautoko Mai (sexual injury support) … be kind to yourself and do what’s right by yourself and other people.”

She was relieved the court case was over and she could “start getting her life back on track now”.

“Get the hell out of me”

The man was found guilty by a jury of sexual assault by unlawful intercourse.

During the trial, the court heard there was a work event at Tauranga Races.

The man had been at the Tauranga Races for a work event and went to a colleague’s house for a night out before sexually assaulting a woman while she slept.

A mix of colleagues, friends and neighbors went to a house after the races to enjoy drinks and food on a typical summer evening around an outdoor fire.

The victim, who was connected at work and friends with the homeowner, said she had a good time catching up with old friends and people she just met.

Her husband had left the meeting early, but she stayed.

The gathering continued, with more drinking and festivities, and a few people stayed indoors after midnight.

The woman said she had been very drunk and was struggling to remember large parts of the evening.

She went to sleep in one of the spare rooms, but woke up in the early hours when the man “forcefully” raped her.

In her video to police, she said that when she realized what was happening, she kept thinking, “Say something, say something,” before using her most “severe” voice to say, ” Get the hell off me.”

She could hear him panting and breathing heavily as he raped her, but he stopped and “got out” after she told him to leave.

When she woke up the next morning, she went into the bathroom feeling sore and thought, “What the hell, did this really happen?”

Defense barrister Craig Tuck said the incident was “absolute fantasy” and the woman had made it up.

The defense case was not that it happened and she agreed, rather that it simply didn’t happen at all.

Tuck said he could not rely on her evidence because of the “almost unbelievable” amounts of alcohol she had consumed which affected her memory. He also pointed to the lack of DNA present after a physical exam.

The jury reached a unanimous guilty verdict after about eight hours of deliberation.

“He had a right to feel safe”

In handing down the sentence, the judge referred to a letter of remorse from the man.

“It is clear that you accept that you offended in this way against the victim and you accept that you caused him physical and emotional trauma.”

The judge said those close to him described him as “a kind, generous person who was willing to help others”.

But he also had struggles during his upbringing, including ADHD, difficulties with school, a head injury in his teens and substance abuse. The judge accepted a psychotherapist’s report which suggested some of these factors may have been causally linked to his offending.

Judge Lawson said the woman was in an environment where she had a right to feel safe.

“You were both escorted to separate rooms and she had every right to expect to remain in that room without any interference or contact from you,” he said.

“You took advantage of her vulnerability. You seriously penetrated her… while she was sleeping or blacked out. You held her back to allow this to happen.”

The judge adopted a starting point of seven years and four months in prison.

He offered the man a 5% discount for remorse.

“Your expression of remorse indicates that you have thought about it … You have accepted that your conduct was the cause of a significant impact on the victim,” Judge Lawson said.

“Very often, in such cases, we find the victims left in a state of doubt because the defendants maintain their innocence and do not accept the verdict. Here you accepted what you did.”

The man also offered emotional harm restitution of $2,500. The judge said that while this could not repay the financial loss the woman and her family had suffered, it was a manifestation of the remorse expressed.

The man also received a 10% discount for background factors.

He received a final sentence of six years and three months in prison and was ordered to pay $2,500 in emotional distress.

SEXUAL REASONING

Where to get help:

If it’s an emergency and you feel you or someone else is in danger, call 111.
If you have ever been sexually assaulted or abused and need to talk to someone, contact them Safe to talk confidentially, at any time 24/7:
• Call 0800 044 334
• Text 4334
• Email [email protected]
• For more information or web chat, visit safetotalk.nz
Alternatively, contact your local police station – click here for a list.

If you have been sexually assaulted, remember that it is not your fault.