Before I ask you to dive into my sex column for PS, let me give you a little background story – how exactly did I, Michelle Hope, become a sexologist? Buckle up, because this ride has a few twists, turns and more than the odd detour.

I was born in the 80s, a biracial black girl raised in Lafayette, IN by my white, lesbian, feminist mother. Now, Indiana isn’t exactly known for being the most progressive place, especially with its rich history of racism and homophobia. My mother, a closeted lesbian, kept her sexuality hidden to keep us safe, which left me confused as to why the loving community I was a part of had to be hidden as a dirty little secret. And this, my friends, is where my passion for unapologetic truth and justice began.

In many ways, I too was raised in the closet. My mother’s activism for gay rights it was loud and proud in some spaces, but muted in others. That duality taught me early on the importance of standing 10 fingers down in your truth, even when society doesn’t exactly encourage it. And then it was biracial thing—I was a curiosity to both whites and blacks. Rejected by both, I became fascinated by race relations.

High school and high school presented me with another challenge: hypersexualization and fetishization, leading me into dangerous situations for which I was totally unprepared. The ’90s brought a sexual revolution, with shows like “The Dr. Ruth Show,” “Sex and the City,” and “Loveline” making sex a mainstream topic. But in Indiana? I had no real sex education – just whispers and rumours. By the time I was labeled a “slut” due to rumors in middle school, I was leaning into it. . The pack was stacked against me, so why not?

High school was no better. After enduring sexual assault, I realized that my only value was my sexual attraction. I almost gave up, realizing that college was not in the cards. So on my 18th birthday, I auditioned to be a dancer at a strip club – and I haven’t looked back. I danced, did burlesque and go-go in gay bars for seven years. And, oh, the stories I could tell! But this job gave me the financial freedom to leave Indiana at 19, move to Los Angeles, and pursue my wildest dreams—something between a Carrie Bradshaw and a black Dr. Ruth. Eleven years in LA taught me a lot about sexuality (hello, participatory research!), earned me a master’s degree in human development, and prepared me for my next chapter: New York City.

I landed a job at a large nonprofit in Upper Manhattan, where I saw firsthand how sexuality affected the lives of my students. There weren’t enough resources to support them, so I advocated sex programming. In 2015, we piloted a program with three middle school classes, and by 2017 we had expanded it to reach the entire organization.

By the end of 2019, I realized that I had reached a ceiling in my career. I had spent years honing my skills as a sexologist—writing “The Girl’s Guide to Sex Education” (which also resonated with adult women), making TV appearances and giving a TEDx talk titled “Sexuality: Pleasure, Privilege, and the Power of Reproductive Justice.”

In early 2020, I joined the Bloomberg campaign. It was a short time, but boy did the political bug bite hard. For the first time, we weren’t just talking about grassroots change—we saw a chance to influence sexuality education and reproductive rights policy at the national level. I was hooked.

Then, three months later, the world turned upside down. The pandemic hit, followed by racial justice riot after the killing of George Floyd. Suddenly, the streets of New York were filled with protests and I found myself organizing alongside incredible activists, shutting down an already shut down city. It was a moment of pain, anger and solidarity – a turning point for me personally and professionally.

While others were thriving online, I was juggling my commitment to the racial justice movement with my desire to become a famous sexologist through @MHSexpert. But something felt off. My content wasn’t hitting like it used to and I started to feel disconnected from the spark that had always fueled me. The pandemic had also forced me to be still for the first time in years. In that stillness, I healed parts of me that I didn’t even know were hurt. I realized that my desire to be a star was rooted in a deeper need for acceptance—something I had been chasing since childhood.

By the summer of 2022, it was clear that his time in NYC had run its course. I turned 40 and left the city that shaped so much of my journey. Then, the fall of Roe v. Wade he sent me back inside. How could I advocate for sexual liberation when I felt that so much of that freedom was being taken away?

This period of reflection was hard. But it solidified one thing for me: I wasn’t going to sit idly by while the forces tried to drag us back to a time when only white men had power. Today, I continue to work as the director of social impact and strategic communications for a national advocacy organization supporting lifelong sexuality education. My mission is to educate the public and lawmakers about the importance of protecting reproductive rights and freedoms—and let me tell you, education is just the beginning.

So now you know a little about how we got here. I’m back – stronger, more focused and more determined than ever. My mission hasn’t changed: to create a world where sexual knowledge, freedom and autonomy are for everyone. This column? It will be a wild ride, but also a wise one. From situations to full blown sex parties, polyamory to perimenopause, thongs to bangs, I’ve been through it all. Throughout my career, I have leaned toward the ethnography of sexuality, conducting participatory research one situation at a time. Now, I’m here to help you navigate your own journey to sexual freedom. And I want to help show you what’s at stake when it comes to sex, beyond the confines of the bedroom—how we can make sense of everything from menopause to mourning.

Send me your questions here! After more than 15 years as a sexologist, believe me, there is nothing I haven’t heard and experience I haven’t engaged in in my own participatory research. I’m ready to spill the tea if it helps you feel more empowered, less alone, and leads to better orgasms.

Let’s do this!

Michelle Hope He/she is your go-to expert on all things sex, love and modern relationships. A sexologist, author, and advocate for reproductive justice and sexual health equity, Michelle infuses her deep knowledge and extensive field experience into every dialogue. Whether breaking down conversational barriers or pushing the boundaries of social norms, her approach is challenging, enlightening and never for the faint of heart. Exploring the intersections of identity and desire, Michelle is here to change your perspectives, one bold truth at a time. Michelle is a member of the PS Council.