So we’re a week away from election day, and one way or another, somebody’s going to win this thing. It won’t end in a tie like soccer or the best abs in the Cancun contest I should have won last year. Right now the polls are razor thin, at least according to the lying and spineless weeds in the media. Because if you compared the polls common sense, you’d think we’re in two different worlds. There is a festive atmosphere on one hand and pure bats— madness on the other. How can it be related if one party is acting so desperate? I mean, we have fun and they have fits, calling you Hitler.

The Wall Street Journal says “America is having an election panic attack.” Sure. But is it really a matter of both sides? It seems like every four years we only get more polarized. Heck, I remember the good old days when me and Randi Weingarten played men’s doubles. Not anymore. Too much hate. So what do we do once it’s over? From where a person returns am i calling you a nazi? It’s going to get really awkward at your nephew’s bar mitzvah. So let’s say you support Trump and he wins. How will you react? You’ll probably enjoy it a little. I’ll probably send the cast of The View a truckload of pigs to comfortably eat.

Maybe you’ll do a final dance. But, you know, there are going to be some seriously ticked people if Trump wins. Heck, they’re already ticked. And given recent history, it’s entirely possible they’ll riot if Trump wins. Which is why I’ve already dressed my grandparents. You remember DC in 2017 when Trump was inaugurated and the next four years were just one long, nervous meltdown on the left? Just ask the human tampon, Tim Walz. To him, burning down his city was considered freedom of speech. His wife loves the smell, which isn’t saying much for his body spray. And we’re already seeing how libraries behave when they think Trump might win.

GUTFELD! Show VIDEO OF A WOMAN SCREAMING AT A BABY

You know, yelling at a literal child is not the kind of thing you do when you’re confident of victory. Well, unless you pass a paternity test. But we see the same hysteria every day on TV. Yes, Whoopi?

WHOOPI GOLDBERG: What I heard at that rally should be enough to wake people up because it’s about you. Talk about you and us. He won’t say, you know, oh, you’re with the white one. I’m going to keep you from being deported… No, he’s going to deport you and set you up with someone else, the man is there.

It’s not crazy at all. Seriously, did someone put the oat bag in her? It seems worse when Morning Joe and The View collide like a 20-foot septic truck hitting a portable potty.

MSNBC host Mika Brzezinski: Nobody gets a pass to trash America. Yes. Puerto Rican Americans. No one gets a pass. Degrading people. No one gets a pass. Threatening his enemies with the use of the military backfires on them. No one is allowed to incite an insurrection. No one is allowed to say that he likes Hitler and wants to have generals like his. No one is allowed to insult veterans and say that those who died for our country are stupid and losers; except convicted felon Donald Trump.

He needs a permit to the psychiatric ward. These people, they are not well. And if they can’t handle it now, imagine a week from now. It’s kind of sad that all we can do is hope the crazy liberals won’t be too bad this time. But what about the flip side of that coin? What if Kamala wins? Well, libraries have less to worry about than we do. January 6th was just one time. Unlike the Democrats’ endless tumult during the Trump years. By the way, Kudlow’s advice to invest in plywood paid off.

PHILADELPHIA IS KAMALA HARRIS’ ALAMO, AND NERVOUS DEMOCRATS HERE KNOW IT

Of course, there will be a lot of grumbling, and I told you so. But the panic has less to do with pro-Trumpers and everything to do with the other side. If Trump loses, God forbid, you, the viewer, might be sad, you might take it hard, but you always come back because your life comes first. Don’t forget this. Family, friends, God, work, politics for you are downstream of that. But for Democrats, politics comes first. That is why they say the worthy he wouldn’t even meet with someone from another political party. Which is good. Most Republican men don’t like women with penises. Most.

For the Demnis, politics polluted every part of their lives. And if you believe that power underlines all behavior, which is the ideology of the left, then even friendships are transactional. It makes the real world smaller because they miss out on other people who aren’t like them. They learn nothing but to hate. But you treat politics differently. You treat it like a trash can that you take out of the closet every few years and keep away from the kids, away from public gatherings, and never take it to work.

“THE WORLD’S MOST ACCURATE ECONOMIST” MAKES PREDICTIONS DARES FOR THE 2024 ELECTIONS

On January 6th, Republicans know how to have fun. Lively rallies, hilarious memes, relentless expression. Heck, I even changed Joe’s name to Brandon. What a bummer. Well, it sucks for him. He was already having a hell of a time remembering his real name. Anyway, we’ll figure it out no matter who wins. The president is not the king of America and we are not his or her subjects. Whether we win or lose, the message is loud and clear.

Former President Donald Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris. (Photo illustration) (Fox News)

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The media, the bureaucrats, the corrupt institutions, the elites, have come to realize that I took their number. And I hope that number is higher than theirs next week. But if it’s not, that’s okay because we’re just warming up.