A woman can’t help but feel offended after her colleague and boss joke about her skipping company events to take care of her sick cat.

Not only was the woman committed to giving her pet the care it needed, but she also didn’t anticipate having to travel as the position was initially removed.

Now, she’s wondering if her cat’s declining health is a legitimate reason to miss a trip.

The woman’s boss and co-workers are upset that she is missing scheduled in-person events because of her sick cat.

woman shared his dilemma on the Ask a Manager blog. and revealed that she was hired earlier this year to work as a fully remote employee.

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However, during her first site visit, she learned that her colleagues in the same department as her had resigned. “Instead of being the junior member of a small remote team, as I expected, I was suddenly the team,” the woman wrote.

“The CEO told me that day that he would like me to travel to the home office once a month, and I was still so shocked that I gave a noncommittal response like, ‘Well, if it’s for something important.’ During the interviews, we had only discussed ‘some’ trips.”

In addition to having to make some unexpected trips for work, the woman also recently took her 16-year-old childhood cat from her elderly parents.

“He was healthy, but by mid-June, he developed symptoms that we learned last week were severe, chronic pancreatitis,” the woman said. “His treatment plan includes injections once a week, fluids 2-3 times a week, pills and ointments twice a day, and hand feeding all day, every day.”

The cat’s treatment plan is a two-person job that her fiance can help with, thankfully, but it has made traveling for work much more difficult.

“Adjusting to working remotely with my boss was already hard with limited communication on both sides (my bad!),” she wrote. “I canceled an event in July for the first emergency meeting and an event tomorrow because of his new treatment plan (the organization didn’t lose money on plane tickets or hotel).”

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While the woman was able to travel for a conference in August, she claimed things “went wrong” when she was unable to attend every event on the schedule.

“This time my boss expressed his displeasure and told me to find a way to attend ‘if possible’ and ‘hell, take the cat with you,'” she revealed.

“I don’t feel like I can give all this care to my fiance, even if either of us could do it independently.”

While attending a meeting to complete a project, the remote worker’s colleague expressed disappointment that she was unable to attend an event the next day due to her cat’s health.

“He didn’t see a pet as a valid excuse and he didn’t believe me; he was not a pet, and in the military, that would be called a ‘personal issue,’” the woman wrote.

Following her colleague’s observation, the woman said she was “ruder than I should have been”, but she was surprised by what he had told her. If that would make him or her boss feel more comfortable, the woman could get a vet’s note detailing how important it was for her cat to follow the treatment plan.

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Also, the woman couldn’t help but feel disrespected her boss was gossiping to her colleagues about why he had missed the scheduled events. She later hopped on the phone with her boss, who told her he was “disappointed” she hadn’t called to check on work-related events on the way to the airport.

“I also made it clear later in the call that I would not commit to traveling until now the cat resolves its illness or passes“, the woman added.

Still, he couldn’t help but wonder if he should put his pet before the job.

“Is a pet’s illness a legitimate family issue that you don’t have to travel for? What do I do from here? They don’t get to see me work every day and want to bridge the gap with regular travel and can see why they thought I was on board,” she wrote.

“But I felt pressured into the existing arrangement, I feel disrespected and mistrusted, and I believe my travel schedule is being gossiped about and may damage my relationship with other colleagues.”

“If it’s a performance conversation, I’m happy to have one, but with my boss, not my colleagues.”

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According to the expert, employers, unfortunately, do not see pets as a priority over work.

The woman’s situation was difficult for manager Alison Green to unpack and determine an ideal solution.

“You signed up for a job that was supposed to involve ‘some’ travel, and the needs of the job changed shortly after you started. You have the right to say, ‘Hey, I didn’t agree to this when I was hired and it’s not something I can do,'” Green advised the woman.

“At the same time, they are allowed to decide that the needs of the job have changed and they need someone in your role. which can travel further than originally discussed. It wouldn’t necessarily be fair, but it happens sometimes.”

As for the woman’s cat, Green said employers they don’t always perceive having to miss work for a sick pet as a legitimate reason. That’s why a 2019 survey found that 1 in 4 pet owners lied to their boss about not working for their pet.

“Refusal to take business trips to care for a pet is not seen in the same way that declining to care for children would be. If you said, ‘I’m a single parent of a young child and can’t travel more than once or twice a year,’ that would probably be different,” she wrote.

“We can debate whether or not that should be the case, but that’s the reality in many offices.”

“I don’t think you can take it for granted that they’re going to accept ‘I can’t travel at all (or much) because of my cat’ for a job that they told you from the start would involve travel.”

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While Green empathized with the woman and noted that the situation was not her fault, she advised her to have an “air-clearing” conversation with her boss about what expectations are.

While each company has different policies regarding time off work or work-related events to care for a sick pet, the decision is ultimately up to the pet owner and there are important factors to consider.

How much paid time off do you have left? Can you afford to take unpaid leave? It is possible to hire a sitter to take care of your pet while you are at work? Does your company allow remote work? Will you end up getting fired for how much work you miss to take care of your pet?

It often comes down to company culture and your ability to use existing leave policies.

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango covering entertainment and news, self, love and relationships.