The harsh reality of seeing yourself through the lens can be unsettling.

Have you ever felt confident and stylish before an outing, only to be dismayed by the photos taken later? The harsh reality of seeing yourself through the lens can be unsettling. Every flaw looks magnified, your face looks distorted, and your expressions are disturbing. What makes it worse is comparing yourself to others in the same photo. Although it looks effortlessly normal, you’re left questioning your appearance. Even those with solid self-esteem can fall victim to the crushing effects of an unflattering image. It can destroy trust, triggering a spiral of doubt and criticism.

So why do we hate how we look in photos?

According to Dr. Matt Johnson, neuroscientist and professor of consumer psychology, our discomfort with photos of ourselves stems from the “mere exposure effect.” This psychological phenomenon suggests that we prefer familiar views of ourselves, such as reflections in a mirror. Photographs disrupt this familiarity, causing discomfort.

“Since we see our mirror reflection much more often than photographs, we feel more comfortable with it.” So if you check your reflection in the bathroom every morning before you leave the house, you might become familiar with that particular image of yourself,” Mr Johnson said.

Eloise Skinner, a psychotherapist, agreed with him saying, “Normally, you see yourself in the same mirror, with the same light, the same perspective and angle. Then when a photo is taken, it can catch you in a moment where you’ve never seen your face or body from that perspective before, so it can be a bit of a disconnect.”

Here’s why this affects photos:

• Unfamiliarity: Photographs reveal angles and features we don’t regularly see in mirrors.
• Lack of control: Cameras capture unexpected, unguarded moments.
• High Scrutiny: We critically examine our photos, focusing on flaws.
• Contrast: comparing ourselves to curated social media images.
• Self-Perception Difference: Our self-image differs from how others see us.

When we look in a mirror, our reflection shows an inverted image, flipping the asymmetries of our face. However, photographs reveal our “true”, unaltered and unknown image. This discrepancy explains why we often feel disconnected from our photographed selves.

As a result, we experience a strange sense of disconnection when we see ourselves in photos, triggering the “Is that me?” reaction. On the other hand, we are constantly exposed to “real” images of real-life friends and family. This familiarity makes their photographed appearances seem more natural and authentic. Our brains get used to their unaltered images, making their photos seem more relatable.

“Also, our brains tend to process faces we see frequently more easily, making them appear sharper or more flattering in our perception. So while our own photos look bad, other people’s images tend to align more closely with how we’ve always seen them,” Mr Johnson added.

Research also suggests that people have an inaccurate perception of their physical appearance, often influenced by self-enhancement bias. Dr William Van Gordon, Associate Professor of Contemplative Psychology at the University of Derby, explains that this phenomenon involves overestimating one’s positive characteristics without recognizing the difference between self-perception and the perception of others.

The “spotlight effect” is another common psychological bias that causes us to believe that others are scrutinizing our appearance as intensely as we are. According to Dr. Johnson, this heightened self-awareness fuels our self-awareness when viewing photographs. We tend to obsess over our flaws, assuming others notice them as much.

However, the truth is that others are probably too preoccupied with their own perceived imperfections to pay much attention to ours. They are busy criticizing their jaw, teeth or hair rather than examining our nose or other features.

Our perception of our own attractiveness and the attractiveness of people we know well is “often skewed by our emotions and cognitive biases rather than an objective assessment,” Johnson explained.

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