Dear Eric: I will be 74 in a few months. Dental troubles have been the bane of my existence. I have invested many thousands of dollars in my oral health. However, I am once again spending thousands of dollars to replace two crowns and install a replacement front tooth.

My dentist is now insisting I replace three more crowns that haven’t failed yet, citing decay underneath (despite regular deep cleanings). Those three extra teeth cause no problems, pain or discomfort.

His hygienist also insists on four annual cleanings instead of two. Both of these professionals put me on their schedule without my input or permission.

I’m trying to find a way to cancel all these appointments. I have no desire (nor the financial means) to continue to spend so much of my later years suffering in a dentist’s chair. I also don’t want to get into arguments with them.

I will give the dentist and hygienist the benefit of the doubt and assume they are perfectionists who just want me to have perfect teeth. But if and until these teeth give me trouble, I’m done. How can I convey my wishes without causing any ill will? – The dental dilemma

Dental dear: I’m sorry you had so many problems with your dental care. Having to haggle with your suppliers is the last thing you need. Especially since it’s so hard to argue when that little dental suction tube is in there. And also because you shouldn’t stand this hard for what you want.

Now, your dental care provider can make appointments for you – although they shouldn’t without your permission. But they can’t come to your home and make you leave. So the easiest way to cancel is to call the office and tell the receptionist that you need to remove all future bookings. This is just a business. While your dentist may want the best for you, if they make it personal or force you to debate care that is beyond your means, it’s out of line.

Moreover, if any health care practitioner does not listen to you or hear what you are saying, how can they give you the best care?

It is good to move on from this practice.

“No” is a complete sentence, and sometimes that’s all that needs to be said. If they take it personally or refuse to accept no, that’s a sign they don’t have your best interest at heart and any ill will is their fault, not yours.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow it up Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.