Just one week after Brianna “Chickenfry” LaPaglia accused country singer Zach Bryan of emotional abuseshe reflects on the impact her story has had on listeners to her “Barstool Sports” podcast, her 5 million social media followers, and even those just learning about her and her story.

“(We got) tens of thousands of DMs,” LaPaglia said Wednesday’s episode of BFFs podcast, referring to people waking up to her experience. “It’s bad how people are treated and made to feel like it was their fault. I didn’t realize that narcissistic abuse was this widespread and I’m glad I spoke about it.”

The explosive end of their relationship became public once Bryan took to social media on October 22 to announce the split. On his Instagram stories, he wrote, in part, “Brianna and I have broken up and I respect and love her with every ounce of my heart.” Although it seemed amicable, LaPaglia responded on her own social media saying she was “blindsided” by his post and would be taking a break from speaking online.

On November 7, she released a podcast episode with hosts Dave Portnoy and Josh Richards, in which she opened up about Bryan and claimed he offered her $12 million to sign a non-disclosure agreement preventing her from discussing the relationship. She said she refused.

“I didn’t take the money because I don’t give up my experiences and what I went through to protect someone who hurt me,” the 25-year-old said. She went on to claim that Bryan “isolated me from my whole life,” “made me hate everything I loved about myself,” and that “the last year of my life was the hardest year of my life dealing with the abuse from this guy.”

She also took to social media not only to share more about her experience, but also to ask for advice, such as ways to gain weight after losing 15 pounds during the relationship, which she said in one of them. video it was the result of anxiety. “Not because I didn’t want to eat, obviously,” she said. “I was, like, physically sick from what I was going through mentally.”

Bryan has yet to respond to LaPaglia’s claims. However, mental health experts say the conversation about relationship abuse is one you need to pay attention to.

What is emotional abuse and how common is it?

Emotional abuse refers to non-physical behaviors designed to control, isolate or frighten someone, through threats, insults, constant monitoring, excessive jealousy, manipulation, humiliation, intimidation and rejection. National Domestic Violence Hotline. It may be less well-known than physical abuse, a representative for the organization tells Yahoo Life, because “these behaviors are often more subtle and difficult to identify.” However, emotional abuse is just as serious other types of abuse and it is very common.

“The reality is that 41% of women and 26% of men experience contact sexual violence, physical violence or stalking by an abusive partner in their lifetime, and over 60 million women and 53 million men experience verbal or emotional abuse throughout life,” he says. representative The 2020 hotline dates more specifically it states that 182,784 reports of emotional and verbal abuse were made that year, representing 96% of all reports. “And yet, we know that for every call we receive, there are many others who do not seek support because of shame and stigma,” the hotline says.

What are the signs of emotional abuse?

While abuse can manifest itself in a multitude of ways, the National Domestic Violence Hotline offers a range of signs to watch out for. These include:

• Your partner is trying to control you, your time and your actions

• Your partner tells you what to do and what to wear

• Your partner criticizes your appearance

• Your partner is jealous of the time you spend with your friends or family

• Your partner is punishing you by withholding attention or affection

• Your partner wants you to ask your permission before doing something or spending time with other people

• Your partner embarrasses you in public

• Your partner doesn’t trust you and is possessive

• Your partner wants access to your phone, passwords or social networks

• Your partner overloads you with compliments and gifts, then uses them to manipulate you later (i love bombing)

Why is it difficult to tell if you’re in an abusive relationship?

“Abusive relationships aren’t always abusive 100% of the time,” Sona Kaur, senior consulting manager at National Rape, Abuse and Incest Network (RAINN), says Yahoo Life. “Abusive incidents in the relationship can be followed by the abuser apologizing, acting in a kind and caring manner and promising to never hurt the victim again or to change for the better. Abusers can remind the victim of the good times in the relationship to push them to see them in a more positive light.”

That psychological manipulation can impact how a person experiences their own relationship while they are still in it. “Intense emotions, attachment and sometimes fear can cloud judgement,” says Tanya Rawal, director of consulting at RAINN. “After leaving, victims are no longer subjected to daily manipulation or pressure to conform, allowing them to reflect more objectively on the patterns and behaviors they endured. This distance provides the space needed to see the relationship more clearly, often revealing abusive tactics they didn’t fully recognize while they were involved.”

Isolation from friends and family during the relationship, which is common in abusive scenarios, prevents a person from accessing that objective point of view sooner.

Why is it important to have conversations about emotional abuse in the public sphere?

Having open conversations about relationship abuse brings awareness to how often it happens and what it can look like, as LaPaglia herself has observed. Her story struck a chord with people who have since turned to social media to share their experiences and in turn connect with others.

“Brianna’s ZB story really hits home when you’ve also met a ZB,” one woman posted on TikTokreferring to an abusive ex. Another one did video thanking LaPaglia for speaking up. “I didn’t expect to wake up and have a girl on the internet validate every feeling I have about my breakup,” she wrote. “It sounds identical to hers and Zach’s.”

Dialogue helps address harmful misconceptions and stigmas that prevent people from recognizing or reporting abuse in their own lives.

“Discussing relationship abuse in the public sphere is essential to reduce the stigma that often surrounds it, particularly for less visible forms such as emotional and sexual abuse. This stigma stems from misconceptions that abuse only involves physical violence, or that survivors are somehow to blame for ‘allowing’ abuse to happen, making survivors doubt their experiences and feel ashamed to speak out.” , says Rawal. “By being open about relationship abuse, we help dismantle these harmful stereotypes and affirm that abuse is never the survivor’s fault. Public conversations can change attitudes by promoting empathy over judgment and educating people about the warning signs of abuse. This understanding is crucial to creating a supportive environment where survivors feel comfortable seeking resources and sharing their stories without fear of judgment.”

Even after leaving an abusive relationship, there is a healing process that is not often talked about. “It takes a lot of work: acknowledging the trauma, prioritizing safety, seeking professional help, building a support network, practicing self-care, setting boundaries, being patient with yourself, educating yourself, and gradually regaining your strength, all over time I recognize this healing. it is a personal and ongoing journey,” says Rawal. “We need to give ourselves and each other the gift of time and patience as we work through the healing process.”

And even as people look to the journeys of public figures who are going through similar experiences, Kaur says it’s important to remember that “the healing process will look different for everyone and it’s not always linear.”

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, help is available. Contact RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) and online.rainn.org.

For anyone affected by abuse who needs support, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or, if you are unable to speak safely, you can log on to thehotline.org or text “START” to 88788.