Dear Eric: I am troubled by your advice to the Depressed about Disorder woman who felt that her husband’s idea of ​​a clean house was not up to her standards.

Your advice included: “Also, if you’re bringing money to pay for (a cleaning service), your husband’s veto should have no power.”

What? I have been married for more than 50 years and during that time my husband worked while I stayed home to raise our four children. I always felt that his salary was “our money” and the decisions were made by the two of us. Under no circumstances does the employee have the right to reject the domestic partner’s ideas or concerns.

— Equal pay

Dear Equal Pay: What a mess we made here. Plain and simple—I chose the wrong words. I certainly don’t think a single earner’s salary entitles him to more say in a marriage or partnership. What I was trying to say – unsuccessfully – was that sometimes you buy things to make yourself happy. But a relationship is about communication, not receipts. So this couple needs to be comfortable with what their money is spent on. I didn’t mean to disparage anyone based on what I bring into the house, and I apologize for not communicating clearly.

Dear Eric: My daughter goes to Catholic school, her best friend who is also Catholic goes to public school. This is the second year in a row. Her friend had a huge birthday/celebration experience on a day when the public school was closed but the parochial school was not. My daughter is heartbroken and mad at me for missing this event, and all the fun photos online remind us that she was left out. I have a feeling this will be an annual thing and my daughter will continue to be left out. Should I talk to the mom and ask her to plan future parties on days when my child, her daughter’s best friend, can also attend?

— Party Pooper

Dear Party Pooper: Reaching out to the other mom is a good first step. She may not realize that your daughter is not free during the days of the birth experience, so talking about it could avoid some hurt feelings on all sides.

Depending on what else is on the other family’s schedule, continuing the party on the public school day off may be the best option for them and the rest of the kids who are invited. So try not to take it personally if she is resistant to moving the party. It might be easier said than done. If so, consider letting your daughter miss a day of school next year. Knowing about the event in advance can help you communicate with her instructors so she is not left out educationally or socially.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)

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