Masculine energy in relationships probably looks different than you’d expect—it’s the side that’s goal-directed, assertive, and action-oriented. Focused more on doing than being.

Most people use their masculine energy when working and achieving their goals. It’s not about how physically strong or stoic someone is; it’s more about how they carry themselves.

What does healthy masculine energy look like in relationships? Healthy masculinity means respect and integrity. The trunk anchors the tree to the ground, allowing the leaves to dance in the wind.

Masculinity is often misunderstood and denigrated because of unhealthy or toxic expressions of masculine energy – focused on power and control. He wants to have power over others. Healthy masculine energy focuses on developing inner strength and power and self-control, not others.

Here are 7 signs of healthy masculinity that show he’ll make a great husband:

1. Is comfortable with vulnerability

It takes real strength and confidence to show someone your true feelings. Healthy masculinity embraces authentic expression and knows that vulnerability comes from inner strength.

Your man needs to be able to open his heart to you and reveal his inner thoughts and feelings. He knows that showing his emotional weaknesses doesn’t make him weak. Instead, it creates a deeper connection and trust in the relationship.

Studies published in 2013 it shows that expressing your feelings helps lessen their impact and get over them faster, so look for a man who is in touch with his emotional life and opens up to you. He may not always have the language or wear his emotions on his sleeve, but he will be able to tell you how he feels when it matters.

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2. He is grounded

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A man who is comfortable in his own skin and knows who he is will inspire you to feel safe and secure. Imagine that the masculine is the trunk of the tree and the feminine is the smaller branches, leaves and flowers. A strong trunk supports the branches and leaves to dance in the wind and nourishes the flowers to bloom.

Grounded masculine energy it gives you space to fully express your femininity. He supports your emotional side and doesn’t feel threatened by your passion and intensity. He appreciates how you soften him and connect him to his feelings.

This is best expressed by watching two ballroom dancers. The male supports the female during the dance. He leads and holds the female as she gracefully spins and turns around him.

This dance of masculine and feminine energy in relationships allows the strengths of both partners to be expressed and for them to be in harmony with each other.

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3. He provides for you and makes you happy

A man who is comfortable in his masculinity knows that his happiness comes from making you happy. He wants to provide the things you need to thrive.

According to research from Psychology today, a man’s sense of identity is closely tied to his ability to provide for his family. This does not mean that he has to be the breadwinner or the only financial support. He can provide through his ability to take care of things you don’t want or can’t do. He can give you emotional support and encouragement to continue your career.

As long as he knows that his support brings you joy, he will be willing to give you what you need, honor your requests, and work to meet your needs. His strength is his ability to please you and create an environment where you feel safe and cared for.

That doesn’t mean you can’t make it on your own. A man who is confident in his masculinity will not feel threatened by a woman who is more successful than him. He will want to support you in creating your dreams with you.

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4. He embodies integrity

Do his words match his actions? Does he take responsibility when he makes a mistake? Can he apologize when necessary?

These traits come from a man who lives with integrity and is comfortable with his masculinity. He’s not afraid to be imperfect and he’ll show you his weaknesses.

Integrity is vital to living with healthy masculinity. Living according to your values ​​and beliefs requires inner strength and confidence. A man constantly influenced by those around him is not grounded in his truth.

Defensiveness and blame shifting are qualities of a man who is not confident. Integrity means taking responsibility for your actions. No one is perfect, but everyone can fix their mistakes and apologize for not living up to their standards.

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5. Drives but is not rigid

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When a man takes the lead in a relationship, he knows what he wants and is willing to take steps to get it. He will ask you to go out in advance. He wants to stake a claim, take you out of the market and demand exclusivity. However, this does not mean that he is so determined in his actions that he cannot respond and change course when given feedback.

Toxic masculinity sees things only one way – his way. Healthy masculinity can adjust and change course when necessary.

Is he trying to bulldoze you or overwhelm you with his love? Or is he curious to discover what you want? Look for a man who knows what he wants and is flexible. Ideally, each of you plays on the other’s strengths to create a strong bond.

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6. Ask for and accept help.

A man who expresses healthy masculine energy knows he doesn’t always have the answer. He is willing to accept help and may even actively seek help. He knows that there is more strength in a team than in going it alone.

Your man may struggle and struggle to solve their problems independentlybut he will also know when he can’t do it alone. He won’t be afraid to ask for help and isn’t afraid to be seen as weak when he asks for help because he knows it takes real strength to admit he needs help.

Is your man able to ask for your opinion or help? Does he have mentors or friends he can rely on? Did he read the instructions before trying to assemble the furniture you bought from Ikea? A man who can ask for help is confident in who he is and is willing to admit what he doesn’t know.

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7. He is not obsessed with being right.

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The need to be right is an unhealthy masculine trait, but the desire to be right is an example of healthy masculine energy. Whether he’s trying to please you, working to express his feelings, or achieving a purpose in his life, a man who is comfortable in his masculinity wants to do well. He also knows that he is not always right.

A man comfortable in his masculinity is willing and able to give credit where credit is due, not obsessed with taking all the credit. He will strive to make things right and readily admit when he is wrong.

Look for these examples of healthy masculine energy when dating. Encourage your man to step into his masculinity by relaxing into your feminine power. Ultimately, you’ll find that you’re happier, more relaxed in your relationships, and that you can trust the man you’re with.

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Orna and Matthew Walters meet coaches, founders Creating love on purpose, which takes a holistic approach to turning hidden blocks into love, and the authors To do well this time.