Earlier this year, back Clyde Edwards-Helaire was included in the list of non-football diseases. The designation caused the Kansas City Chiefs running back to miss the first four games of the regular season.

He also did not participate in training camp in July and August. The former LSU standout opened up about his struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder in late July, which stemmed from what he described as a “self-defense situation” in 2018.

While the 25-year-old has previously opened up about his struggles with the disorder, he shared more details during a recent chat on “pivot” podcast.

“On December 22, 2018, Kansas City Chiefs running back Clyde Edwards-Helaire and his best friend, Jared Small, traveled to North Baton Rouge to sell a PlayStation,” said the podcast co-host and former NFL player Ryan Clark as he provided some background on the fateful day.

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August 22, 2024; Kansas City, Missouri: Clyde Edwards-Helaire (25) warms up before a game against the Chicago Bears at GEHA Field at Arrowhead Stadium. (Denny Medley-USA Today Sports)

“From Clyde’s knowledge, everything was taken care of (by) one app. He figured the conversation and exchange would last between five and ten seconds. Unbeknownst to both Clyde and Jared, Kobe Johnson – an 18-year-old. the young man – he had a gun. He put the gun to Jared Small’s head (concealed firearm) and Kobe Johnson was killed.”

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“My only reaction was either I’m about to see my best friend lose his life or I’m going to do something about it,” Edwards-Helaire said during the interview, which was released on Nov. 8 . mentioned his habit of carrying a firearm. His stepfather was a police officer and served in the US Navy, and his mother served in the Army.

“It was Jared or (Johnson),” Edwards-Helaire reiterated. “I honestly hate how it all went down, especially just learning more about the individual — I wanted the best for everyone, (and) I wish it never went down like this.”

Clark then asked Edwards-Helaire about his thought process leading up to the moment he pulled the trigger.

“The first thing was I don’t want my best friend to die,” the Chiefs running back replied. “Secondly, if that happens to him, what’s to stop the gun (from) coming at me after the fact? And that we both left for no reason.”

Next month will mark six years since the shooting, but time has not allowed Edwards-Helaire to get over the feelings she experienced that day.

Years later, he still struggles with the sequence of events that led to the incident that would change his life forever.

“I can’t imagine having a gun to my head,” he explained, “and not only that, just thinking that — if I didn’t go with him or how bad I would have felt if I didn’t -I followed my intuition. initial.”

“Even though you can have a great career on grass, you can’t wear a helmet in your everyday life,” Clark said to start the podcast. This message rings true throughout the interview.

“These last four years, up until about four months ago, (it was) a complete roller coaster,” Edwards-Helaire said as he described how the tragedy has affected him since then. “We’re not only dealing with the mental side, but the physical side as well.”

January 13, 2024; Kansas City, Missouri: Kansas City Chiefs running back Clyde Edwards-Helaire (25) as Miami Dolphins safety Elijah Campbell (22) looks to tackle in a 2024 AFC wild card game at GEHA Field from Arrowhead Stadium. (Denny Medley-USA Today Sports)

The Chiefs RB revealed that he’s been hospitalized for PTSD symptoms more times than he can count, and that for a while, he barely got more than three hours of sleep on average most nights.

“The only time I felt it was when I put on my helmet,” CEH said. He also noted that Chiefs head coach Andy Reid, as well as KC’s medical staff, have been well aware of his condition for years and have worked with him extensively along the way.

All of these feelings stemmed from the shooting and the hours and days that followed.

While talking to Clark and company, Edwards-Helaire recalled being handcuffed and held like a “full-fledged criminal” at a nearby police station. “I’m in this room and I’m there all alone – no watch, I don’t know what time it is,” he recalled aloud. “And I feel like the thing that hindered me the most is that they had a window (in the room) and I tried to look out the window and when I opened it, it was a mirror. That right there ruined me completely. .”

Ultimately, the investigation determined that Edwards-Helaire was innocent of any wrongdoing.

Edwards-Helaire’s relationship with Travis Kelce

This interview touches on much more, including Edwards-Helaire’s relationship with Reid and teammates like Travis Kelce, the feelings the Kansas City parade shooting brought up again, and why he’s choosing to tell his story now.

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Travis Kelce, #87, Clyde Edwards-Helaire, #25, and Jerick McKinnon, #1, of the Kansas City Chiefs celebrate after Edwards-Helaire’s touchdown during the third quarter against the New England Patriots at the Stadium Gillette on December 17, 2023, in Foxborough, Massachusetts. (Sarah Stier/Getty Images)

“I feel like I’m actually saving lives by talking about my situation and showing that you can wake up every morning and get through it,” Edwards-Helaire remarked at one point.

He also revealed that while his 2019 campaign at LSU was probably the greatest of his football career, it was “probably the worst” year of his day-to-day life.

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“I’m doing a lot better than I’ve been in the last four years,” Edwards-Helaire said at the start of the interview. “Mentally, physically, everything is on the up and up. I’d say I’m probably the healthiest I’ve been since coming into the league.”

He also said that “the biggest thing was just finding peace within myself,” something he finally feels he’s been able to do in recent months.

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