ORLANDO, Fla. (Ivanhoe Newswire) – October was National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. More than 12 million men and women are victims of abuse each year in the United States. It affects three in 10 women and one in 10 men.

When you suspect someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, you’ll likely look for something physical, like broken bones or bruises. But what about the non-physical signs?

Twenty-three people every minute are victims of rape, physical violence, verbal abuse or stalking by someone they think is their partner. But not all signs of domestic violence are black and blue.

“Many times emotional, verbal and psychological abuse will destroy a person’s sense of self,” said Kathleen McHugh, PhD, a licensed psychologist.

What if you know someone who suddenly has lower self-esteem and repeatedly cancels plans outside of their partner? Does this partner make all the important decisions and dismiss their opinions? These are signs that something more abusive may be going on behind closed doors.

Another non-physical form of abuse? Financial abuse.

“Economic or financial abuse is the insistence on maintaining sole access to the source of money,” McHugh explained.

In cases of financial abuse, one partner has all the passwords to bank accounts and credit cards.

“You see that person being indecisive about spending money or asking permission, those could be some of the more subtle signs,” McHugh said.

Finally, if your friend tells you they are going through domestic violence, never tell them what to do.

“We want them to heal, we don’t want to just make them do what we think they need to do,” McHugh said.

The best things you can do to help them are to be there for them, listen to them without criticizing them, let them know they can contact you in an emergency, and connect them with a health professional mentally.

If someone is in serious danger, you should call the police. But telling a victim what to do takes away their agency, which the abuser does. McHugh said that while you can make suggestions, you have to respect where your own opinions are as well.

Contributors to this news report include: Marcy Wilder, producer; Bob Walko, editor

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