Dear ABBY: I have fond memories of Christmas since I was a child. I didn’t start to dislike it until I married my second husband. My parents got old and we celebrated their last Christmas together. They passed a few years ago. After that, I really disliked the season and all the crap that went with it. I’ve been trying to like it for the past few years and I’ve done all the holiday stuff. I sent cards, baked cookies, decorated, bought presents – even went to church.

Last Christmas Eve, I just “broke”. I couldn’t take it anymore. I took down most of the decorations because I couldn’t look at them anymore. I’m not well, and my boyfriend has been sick even further. He loves Christmas, so I’ll put some stuff back for him, not for me. Why do I hate Christmas so much? It’s such a pain in the ass. Maybe you can help me understand my feelings. — SCROOGE IN INDIANA

Dear SCROOGE: Your change in attitude can be caused by two things. The first would be that in your mind Christmas is associated with the loss of your parents and a chapter in your life that is now closed. The other could have been caused by the incessant hype and merchandising surrounding Christmas, which starts right after Halloween. Maybe it’s time to step back and ask your lover to help you by celebrating the MEANING of Christmas instead of the trappings. Helping someone — or a family — less fortunate comes to mind.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Copyright 2024, Andrews, McMeel Syndication.