Editor’s Note: If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or text BEGIN to 88788.

FARGO — Groups that help survivors of domestic violence are reporting disturbing statistics as National Family Violence Awareness Month draws to a close.

In the past year, 19 advocacy centers in North Dakota, such as the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center in Fargo, have helped more than 6,000 victims of domestic violence.

Experts told WDAY News that domestic violence can be harassment, stalking, financial control and mental or sexual abuse. It usually involves a systemic pattern of abuse and control, they said.

“Everyone is different, it depends on the severity of the abuse, the type of abuse, but any type of domestic violence can have lifelong and lasting effects on mental health, PTSD, anxiety, depression, substance use, adjustment disorders, low self-esteem,” said Mercedez Marvig, a nurse at Essentia Health.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, abuse survivors return to their abusive partners an average of seven times before leaving for good.

“It’s extremely intimate. You know, I love them. They want to change,” Marvig said. There are many reasons why partners return to their abusers, she added. “There is hope for change, children, finances, the stigma of leaving your partner, shame. Everyone is different in their reason”.

Those who believe someone is experiencing domestic violence should look for any form of stalking or unexplained injuries, Marvig said. Victims may try to cover cuts or bruises with clothes that aren’t appropriate for the weather, she said.

The best way to help, she said, is to ask lots of “why” questions.

“You just want to (ask) open-ended questions, making sure they’re safe,” Marvig said. She suggested supportive statements such as, “I’m here for you. I don’t blame you… I’m sorry this is happening”.

Marvig said leaving an abusive relationship often escalates the situation because the abuser loses control and power over the victim.

If a friend or loved one experiencing domestic violence refuses help, she said, it’s important to let them know about other resources.

“Law enforcement would be the emergency placement, removing them from an immediately dangerous situation,” Marvid said. “Rape and Abuse (Crisis Center) will also assist with placement. They can do therapy, manage medication, help navigate any kind of legal process. The domestic (violence) hotline can provide victims of domestic violence as well as resources in the area.”

According to the National Institutes of Health, 1 in 4 women experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Essentia patients experiencing domestic violence can contact Marvig through MyChart for help or contact their local provider.

My name is Anne Sara, better known as Sara.
I was born an only child in Port-au-Prince, Haiti and moved to the US at the age of 2.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania is where I grew up.
After graduating from Albright College, I moved to Florida to continue my education.
WDAY is the reason I moved to North Dakota.