Source: Ximena Nahmias/Unsplash

October is Domestic Violence Month and a good time to remember that women are not the only victims. Men are victims too.

As a society, with gender stereotypes and a long history of male violence against women, the dominant perspective is often that intimate partner violence involves a female victim and a male perpetrator. This faith, or biascontribute to denial or minimizing the fact that a man may be abused and victimized by his intimate partner.

I would like to argue that men can be hurt and scared and too often unable to ask for help. When they do, they risk not being believed. For help and healing to be options for male victims, they must be believed.

Intimate partner violence and male victims

Intimate partner violence is when one partner tries to overpower the other using violence, coercion, verbal and emotional abusethreats etc. Violence is not always necessary to achieve dominance in a relationship.

Domestic violence statistics updated October 2024 by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC):

• In the United States, nearly every 1 in 2 women and more than 2 in 5 men reported experiencing intimate partner violence at some point in their lifetime.
• Every minute, 32 people experience intimate partner violence in the United States.
• 1 in 4 men in the United States have experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner.

Male victimization is a significant public health problem (CDC, May 2024). Data from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual violence The survey (NISVS) reports that men endure a high frequency of intimate partner violence, sexual violence and ambush.

Intimate partner violence statistics:

• About 1 in 3 men experience some form of contact sexual violence (such as rape), physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
• Almost 56% of men who were victims of contact sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner first experienced these or other forms of violence by that partner before the age of 25 .

Statistics on sexual violence:

• Nearly 1 in 4 US men have experienced some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime.
• About 1 in 14 US men have been forced to penetrate someone in their lifetime.
• More than 1 in 38 US men have experienced complete or attempted rape victimization in their lifetime.
• Among male victims of complete or attempted rape, approximately 71% experienced such victimization for the first time before the age of 25.

Tracking Stats:

• About 1 in 17 US men have been victims of stalking at some point in their lives.
• Almost 41% of male victims first experienced stalking before the age of 25.

Who are the perpetrators of male victimization?

The CDC reports that male victims usually know their perpetrators. Among male victims of sexual stalking and violence, perpetrators were most often intimate partners or current or former acquaintances.

The gender of the perpetrator is relevant to the type of violence. According to the NISVS, the majority of men were perpetrators of rape and unwanted sexual contact against male victims. Male perpetrators of other types of sexual violence, such as sexual coercion and forced penetration, were most often women. Male stalking is perpetrated by both women and men. Perpetrators of intimate partner violence against men are mostly women.

Statistics on sexual violence:

• 87 percent of male rape victims (completed or attempted) reported only male perpetrators.
• 79 percent of male victims were forced to break in reported only female perpetrators.
• 82 percent of male victims of sexual coercion reported only female perpetrators.
• 53 percent of male victims of unwanted sexual contact reported only female perpetrators.
• 48 percent of male victims of lifetime non-contact unwanted sexual experiences reported only male perpetrators.

Tracking Stats:

• 46 percent of male victims reported being stalked only by female perpetrators.
• 43 percent of male victims reported being stalked only by male perpetrators.
• 8 percent of male victims reported being stalked by both men and women.

Intimate partner violence statistics:

• 97 percent of men who experienced rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner had only female perpetrators.

Let’s be clear: women can commit abuse and violence against a male intimate partner.

Traumatic impact on male victims of abuse

Just like female victims of intimate partner abuse, male victims face the same types of traumatic damage. Male victims of intimate partner violence typically reported having suffered fearconcern for safety and post-traumatic symptoms stress disorder, among other harms (CDC, May 2024).

Like female victims, male victims need our empathy, our support, and our acceptance of their abuse, trauma entrapment, and victimization. Judith Herman, MD, author Trauma and Recovery: The Consequences of Violence – From Domestic Abuse to Political Terrorit recognizes that true healing can only occur when we as a society embrace the cause. Let’s open our hearts and minds to male victims of intimate partner violence.

©Lambert

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233.